Advice please

[Maybebaby8]

Hello, so this is more about my EX.
My Ex sees his children 1 night for 3 weekends of the month. Anyway when they are there he just sticks them in front of a device either an ipad or playstation from 7am to when they leave at 6, i know this to be true as my son has told me.

My son is ASD and struggles socially as it is, since he's been going his social skills have plummeted, he's become rude and aggressive and I'm often told I'm horrible and his dad is better because they can do what they want.

On a side note his gf is all over them and it's rather excessive and quite uncomfortable to watch, I've brought it up to which he's ignored me. I guess what I'm asking is, are these grounds to stop contact. And how on earth if it's not do i deal with this.

I just really want my happy sociable children back

YABU. I think it is unlikely their behaviour is from being in front of a screen, is it even possible to be in front of a screen all day. Surely they have lunch and dinner and have to go out and do other things. I think it would be more harming for them to not see him at all.

Surely 3 days a month isn't enough to materially alter their behaviour? Even if it is, I don't think you will get far with stopping contact on those grounds. Just compensate by being stable, it will change with time

This is i would like to add a very small window into what goes on. It is from 7am to 6 pm. They don't leave the house, I'll ask them and they say nothing, he will tell me he's on the ipad then the playstation. My daughter may go to the corner shop but that will be with his GF.

This is EVERY week. So on down time at the weekends they are conditioned to think sitting in front of a device is what you do. So when they come home and are told no, or given a limit he gets cross. And no they will either be in front of a tv, or device during lunch and dinner. This isn't a one off ect

And it absolutely does and has affected their behaviour and perception. I'm consistent at home, we go out to clubs and at weekends. But this contact time is becoming negative. They have only resumed unsupervised contact in the last year.

Was it supervised before that then? A history of abuse? Is the contact time court ordered in that case. I'm not minimising what you say but I just don't think you can stop, or even influence, his contact on the basis of what you say. It just isn't far enough from the norm for many families to be considered extreme. It's frustrating but I think you can only do your best to make sure that the rest of the time is good for them. They will see that your way is best sooner or later.

Yes history or abuse toward me and my daughter. Also neglect. I know this is what i thought. Just horrible to watch and know there is nothing i can do. I've got a meeting again with the mediator in october, I'll see what she suggests as she knows the history and what was in place last time.