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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Absent dad

5 replies

Callo1234 · 18/09/2021 11:50

Hi, my children's father is becoming increasingly worse. He refuses to get a job, refuses to get out of bed before 1pm, refuses to look after his children to the extent that I have lost my part time job in a bar because he'd refuse to come home and I became unreliable at work as I'd have to cancel my shift to care for my children.
He drinks heavily every day won't cook or clean in the house, won't take me or our children out, he's never even taken them to the park across the road. His family never offer to help with my children even though we all live in the same town.

I'm at a loss as what to do and my children are both under the age of 2 and I would struggle financially support myself and them.

OP posts:
PumpkinKlNG · 18/09/2021 11:51

Are you still together?

Callo1234 · 19/09/2021 00:13

Sort of, we live in the same house, but sleep in different rooms, don't spend time together, don't eat together ect

OP posts:
Callo1234 · 19/09/2021 00:17

Neither of us has the finances to leave the other, we hate each other but are both trapped in a catch 22 situation.
I don't have family to fall back on and he's 20 years older than me, i know it has just been a ridiculous setup from the start.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 19/09/2021 00:31

Split finances completely don't do anything for him at all and claim UC as a single person. You can then claim for childcare costs.

Somehow you need to move out or get him out.

This sucks for you Thanks

Callo1234 · 19/09/2021 09:20

I'm going to have to apply as single on uc, he won't go to his work appointments so I don't want to have that causing issues..
Just don't understand why men are so happy not caring about their children.
Thank you for replying

OP posts:
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