I’m worried about my friends children

[JennyJ75]

My friend and her H have separated (her decision) but still live together for the moment for financial reasons. They have 3 primary school age kids.

H wont leave home due to anger over her new boyfriend who she has introduced to the kids against his wishes. She hasnt enough money yet to move out. They still do stuff as a family. Kids all playing up, are sad and need support at school. She (and him) are both decent caring parents, but cant seem to see anything beyond their own unhappiness.

I dont know what to do - say something or nothing? I am worried for the kids, they must be so confused. I am godmother, so do have some responsibility to them. What should she do?

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks for reading.

What exactly are you worried about?

She introduced her new boyfriend to the kids whilst still living with their father?

Those poor children, how confusing it must be for them. I would've said something to your friend, but a long time ago, not now.

It's sad adults can't behave like... adults, instead of trying to win over each other at the cost of their kids' mental and emotional wellbeing.

What exactly do you think will happen if you interfere? Your friend can't afford to leave, her husband refuses to leave. Do you honestly think they will all have some kind of magical epiphany because you tell them it's damaging their kids? You'll just get their backs up and they will shut you out.

Depending on the age of the kids, you can be there to support them, offer to have them at your house for some respite for the parents etc. And be there as an ear to listen for the kids. But if they are very young that's not necessarily possible.

Yes thank you. I’m worried about the kids wellbeing, they are miserable but I can only be a listening ear and support as much as I can.

None of your business. But your friend is the author of her situation and is being thoughtless to her children’s well-being. Tell her that if you want but she is being selfish involving the children in her love life.

Oh no who introduces someone to their new boyfriend whilst still living their ex, no the wonder the kids are confused, how long have they been broken up?

@PumpkinKlNG they’ve only been broken up 6 months or so maybe I cant recall. I did say I’d have the kids if she wasnt ready for them to meet bf. But the fact that they met some guy then went home to their dad i think deeply confusing. I think all I can do is try and support as much as I can

They’re not separated in the eyes of the children, are they? As far as they’re concerned their mum and dad still live together.

Your friend should move out if she wants to be with her boyfriend more than sorting this shit out. If she can’t afford it yet then what is her plan?

They both need to grow up and put their children first. I would certainly tell her so.

Nothing. You can't do anything. The parents still love their children but they are choosing a complicated way of splitting up, that's for sure. However it's none of your business.

All you can do is be there and be supportive and warm and understanding for them. You could take them out to do fun things and have break from the intensity of it all. But they will have to find their own way through all this and you can't stop them experiencing it (and the truth is you cannot know the full story anyway).