Hello,
I have a dilemma. To begin with I have a 10 year old son with my ex partner. He is a happy well loved boy and we have shared the responsibility’s and got on well throughout.
6 years ago she got a new partner and had a baby with him. Since then they have broke up. During this time both her mum and dad did pass away.
So when 2nd baby was 2 years old she separated from the new partner and has really gone down hill mentally.
She has got very close to me, in need of emotional support. She needs someone to talk to about how bad he is and all this that and the other. She doesn’t want to be doing it alone again and really resents both the baby and the dad. The communication between them both is not very good.
Now onto my dilemma - I do go round and try to help and listen and do what I can. Whether that’s dinner, taking the kids out during the week. ( both dads me and him have the kids on the weekends btw) she hates the week days of doing it all on her own. So anyway I do try and go round and help but she is soo angry with him, I get the blame. I feel she is painting us both with the same brush, although I haven’t done anything but try and help. She says she does appreciate it but she is soo difficult to be around. she is very angry and I’m on edge a lot. The youngest child 3 (not mine but that’s doesn’t matter) is a hand full. He will break phones bite, hit, scratch, smash everything. Laugh when u tell him off, oh my u name it he’s doing it. The other boy (mine l but that still doesn’t matter) is a perfect well mannered caring person.
So the dynamic in the house is her fighting with the young boy, me trying to Calm everyone down. Her losing her temper with me because all exes have ruined her life.
She wants to move away from everyone and wants me to help her get a house. That we can live in as friends but I don’t think she wants me there as much as she wants the house.
I feel like since she has lost her parents someone should help her and I’m the only one. But I do feel like she had bad feelings towards me and is using me for her gains.I’d like to say it’s not my mess it’s hers and I’m not responsible, but I do feel like when I look back in the future I would be glad I tried.
I guess what I’m asking is the damage this is doing to my mental health worth it? Or am I just not getting on with my life by trying to fix someone else.