Is he starting to lose interest or does he just have a life?

[Sarz1991]

So a quick backbone

1. We had our first date on Saturday the 7th of August
2. We have had 4 dates in total
3. We were supposed to meet the Sunday just gone but he drank too much the night before so he text to say he had to cancel as he felt really sick
4. The weekend before that he had arranged to meet up with me on the Saturday eve bit text at 3pm to cancel as work got in the way

5 . He has an extremely hectic job - he owns a business with his brother, works until 9-10pm Mon to Friday and works Saturdays too. He also has training and matches too

1. We have text most days ever since our first date. For the first few weeks we would take in turns to text first but since last week I have let him text first
2. I originally was not hugely into him on our first whilst he was but he grew on me a lot
3. He always compliments me and just basically shows a lot of interest in me during our dates and when we text - we have not slept together yet
4. He is quite a shy guy so although he does want to kiss me on our dates, I always have to initiate it

However our last conversation was Monday night where both did our usual sign off and said night abd talk soon. Tonight is Thursday and I can honestly say it is the first time that I am starting to think he has started to lose interest. If he had not cancelled on me Sunday I wouldn't have been questioning it as much but I am seriously questioning whether I need to start looking elsewhere!

One side of me is saying he has a life, he knows you are into him as he is into you so he doesn't need to texting you as much. However the other side is saying he should have text by now to make arrangements for meeting one of the days this weekend as it has been exactly 2 weeks since we last met! Now I haven't text him either but I honestly don't want to because I want to be sure his interest is still all for me. So am I over analysing or am I right about hos slow disinterest?

Perhaps he's sick of being the first one to text all the time?

Sounds like it's petering out due to lack of effort, mainly on his part.

Just phone him or text him and ask him.
Even if it's not the response you hope for at least you'll know.
You can't build a relationship with someone you're not willing to be open & honest with
Life's too short to play games
Good luck

Just say. Be honest with him. No point wondering. Stop trying to play it cool!

Cancelling is never a good sign, more than once in the early stages is unforgivable to me. They should be really keen and eager to see you again, it's been two weeks since you last met and he hasn't spoken to you for the past 3 days, if it's because he's too busy and too shy that's not your problem, you need someone to put in the same amount of effort, I wouldn't bother getting in touch.

Maybe he likes you OP but doesn't have time for a relationship. I'd bin him off tbh, sorry

@seensome

Cancelling is never a good sign, more than once in the early stages is unforgivable to me. They should be really keen and eager to see you again, it's been two weeks since you last met and he hasn't spoken to you for the past 3 days, if it's because he's too busy and too shy that's not your problem, you need someone to put in the same amount of effort, I wouldn't bother getting in touch.

I agree with this.
If someone is not bothered about you after 4 dates then you need to stop flogging a dead horse and move on.
He's cancelled 2 dates for things that were in his control to prioritise you and your time together and he didn't.
If he's too busy to date then he's too busy to be in a relationship with.

Move on IMO

Cancelling isn't great. Move on.

If you have to wonder/ask if someone is losing interest, it is because they are.
Maybe he has noticed you stepping back and ‘letting’ him text first, and has realised you’re losing interest too? Don’t play games. Just ask him or move on.

Well, at least he was honest, however, drinking so much the night before a date that you are too I'll to go on the date, should be telling you all you need to know about how low on his priority list you are - stuff that! What a shit reason to miss a fab date with you, he deserves binning off for that reason alone.

The making him text first thing is strange, I imagine he has noticed and thinks you're not as interested as you were.

Why haven't you made the effort to text/call him to arrange? that's your problem.

Nah, bin him off. He may be a nice guy but clearly has no time for a relationship. Also cancelling TWICE so early on is rude AF. Esp just because he's hungover!!! I would actually dump someone just for that. He doesn't know his body well enough by now to realise if he has a big drinking night and can't handle hang overs he shouldn't be making plans. And he couldn't even see you for a little bit??

He is meant to be trying to win you over and on his best behaviour now. If he already can't manage this, he is not that bothered. And wouldn't make a good partner anyway, unless you like being bottom of the priority pile.

OP, even if this chap was keen as all get out on you, look at his schedule!
He would be “available” to you after 10pm at night, and on the Sundays that he didn’t otherwise have training or matches.
That is a very meagre proportion of his life in which to try and shoehorn a relationship.
Then add in his reluctance to kiss or engage in intimacy. Seriously, what’s the best this chap can offer you?
Ditch. And find a chap who actually has time and enthusiasm to spend with you.

He's just not that into you hun .
Let it go and date others now .

And if he's the one who has cancelled twice now of course it's on him to have immediately followed up to organise something else as an apology. If he had to cancel an important client meeting, would he have just left them hanging or rescheduled immediately?

If he was hungover and cancelled, ok we are all human but its not great, did he apologise? He should and also set up another date with you. The lack of affection would actually worry me more, you have to put yourself out there emotionally and physically to create a great relationship. He expects you to do the bidding for a kiss? If a man likes you he will show it, he will call/text/and show emotion and connection. If he is not putting the effort in now its not going to get any better. I'd maybe wait and see if he plans anything for this weekend. While together face to face tell him how you feel? Whats the worst that can happen? He should be making sure you dont want to think about dating other people but currently you are. He's created an environment were you are feeling like this. He may say he doesnt have the right circumstances currently for a relationship but if so he should be doing things to create it. I had a similar situation and we could have both walked away. I asked for a face to face chat and stated what i needed and thankfully the guy stepped up and said ok, what do i did to do to get us back on track , this was about 4 months into dating. I took the risk of rejection by stating what i wanted and needed and told him i wanted to make it work and he did too. If you dont ask you dont get. Tell him and get his reaction and either move forward and try or end it

At this stage in the game I would expect more effort from him, and it would worry me what he would be like in a relationship. Maybe time to just let it go?

If he was really into it he’d be making more of an effort to make up the cancellations by booking new dates. I think he’s lost interest or has realised he doesn’t have space in his life, I would move on.

One thing about men that I've always found to be true: where there's a will, there's a way. And the work excuse is bullshit 99% of the time. Keep yourself busy with fun and interesting things and try not to dwell (easier said than done, but such a better use of your time and headspace).

I fell asleep reading all that. Move on. He's not the one. If he were he would be all over you.

Cancelling would be a total dealbreaker to me this early on. I might accept it once IF he had a very, very, very good excuse and immediately tried to reschedule. More than once? Not a chance.