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Original poster

Do you have to give notice to quit therapy?

29 replies

Thecoffeecuprunsdry · 16/09/2021 17:27

This is in mental health as well but decided to put it here because I'm really struggling emotionally right now and I would really appreciate hearing other people's experiences regarding this because I just don't know what's reasonable or not.

I don't have a contract to state terms of service etc and I'm in private individual therapy rather than NHS or clinic.

If you are in therapy does your therapist require you give notice to quit and if so by how long?

What would happen with regards to a notice period if there was a dispute and you want to terminate services immediately?

OP posts:

Windmillwhirl · 16/09/2021 17:34

Hi op, you can stop going at anytime. Often a therapist would like a closing session but you do not have to go and have that if you don't want to.

If you have a session booked and don't want to attend, make sure you give 24 hours notice.

WisestIsShe · 16/09/2021 17:36

@Windmillwhirl

Hi op, you can stop going at anytime. Often a therapist would like a closing session but you do not have to go and have that if you don't want to.

If you have a session booked and don't want to attend, make sure you give 24 hours notice.

I agree with this. You can just not book a next session, or cancel with at least 24h notice.

Original poster

Thecoffeecuprunsdry · 16/09/2021 17:37

So a months notice to quit and expectation of payment for those sessions even if they won't be used is not the norm?

OP posts:

AlexanderArnold · 16/09/2021 17:38

It might be quite important though to talk things through in an ending session? Depends a bit on the type of therapy.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 16/09/2021 17:39

I guess it depends if you had a contract or not like anything but no it's absolutely not the norm. I've never heard of a notice period for a counsellor / therapist before.

dangerrabbit · 16/09/2021 17:39

Did your therapist make you sign a contract with a cancellation clause? If you've already paid for the sessions, might be worth going along to get your money's worth. If you haven't, you might as well stop immediately.

AlexanderArnold · 16/09/2021 17:40

Sorry didn't see your last message. It can be the norm, as you may be part way through a course of treatment. It may be important to work through why you've decided to stop, it can be a very useful part of the work. It's hard to say without knowing more about what you've been working on, and what the difficulties have been.

AlexanderArnold · 16/09/2021 17:42

And yes, the contract you have, as others have said. Sometimes the contract is a useful reminder that sometimes you won't want to attend, if the work is painful etc

ValenciaOrange · 16/09/2021 17:42

Have PM'd you Coffee

Original poster

Thecoffeecuprunsdry · 16/09/2021 17:45

No contract, I've not signed anything and I've just looked through our correspondence and there's no mention of it anywhere.

It was dropped on me today during a dispute that a month's notice and payment for the sessions was a requirement. I've said I won't be going back because of some things that happened during the session I feel are not ok and unprofessional but I was so upset I've stupidly gone and paid the notice period.

My friend said I should ask for it back but I'm not sure if I should or even could because of how I'm feeling just now. I can't really afford to lose the money and feel a bit taken advantage of but kind of feel it's partly my own fault for paying it without question and I'll just have to leave it at that.

OP posts:

Original poster

Thecoffeecuprunsdry · 16/09/2021 17:47

For what it's worth I don't feel it's safe emotionally for me to return to the sessions to get my monies worth, I no longer trust my therapist.

OP posts:

ValenciaOrange · 16/09/2021 17:51

Is your therapist a member of a professional body. I would contact your therapist and state that as there is no contract between you and you have never agreed to this new terms and conditions that you would like a refund of the money paid in respect of sessions not taken or you will be contacting their professional body.

If he/ she declines then I would get in touch with their professional body.

Original poster

Thecoffeecuprunsdry · 16/09/2021 17:53

@ValenciaOrange sorry I cross posted, have PM'd you back.

OP posts:

ValenciaOrange · 16/09/2021 20:35

Hi Coffee, I have PM'd you a draft letter to send to ask for your money back.

Original poster

Thecoffeecuprunsdry · 16/09/2021 21:01

Thank you @ValenciaOrange that was very kind of you to take time to do that. I actually have been in contact with the therapist and there have been a couple of replies but I asked them to confirm they will return the money and they've gone silent.

Possibly it's just because it's getting on in the evening, possibly they are hoping I will go away and leave the money with them, I will have to wait and see but if I have no contact by tomorrow this time I will be getting in touch with the appropriate governing body to complain.

Thank you everyone, this really helped me, I was extremely upset earlier and am quite vulnerable to cheeky requests so this thread has solidified my anger enough to stop crying and try and do something about it. I have tried to remain polite in my emails but I'm not going to be a doormat.

OP posts:

ValenciaOrange · 16/09/2021 21:04

That's great that you felt able to get back in touch and ask for your money back. It's not always easy to take things like that on when you are feeling down and upset. Fingers crossed the therapist realises that they have been very unprofessional and you have your money back quickly.

gogohm · 16/09/2021 21:09

From the other point of view (and not relevant to why you have quit) as a therapist I book set sessions for clients and turn down potential work all the time because I don't have space. I book specific length courses myself and have a plan (always subject to flexibility of course) of what's in the sessions so clients after a trial session do commit to typically 6-8 sessions. Only one of my clients is ongoing and she's on 1 months notice. It's a professional service just like other in healthcare and allied professions

Original poster

Thecoffeecuprunsdry · 16/09/2021 21:48

@Gogohm I can totally understand how this would work well for both you and your clients ^ I would have appreciated similar transparency from my therapist. It'll be something to look out for once I've pulled myself together enough to find another one, a green flag if you like.

I can understand from a self employed standpoint that people have bills to pay and it's helpful to have a reasonable grasp of what money will be coming in per month.

My exH was self employed in a accredited body governed trade that relies on regular repeat custom, so similar to therapy in that sense.
At the start of his career I had to remind him that we needed to arrange our finances so we weren't reliant on money not in the bank yet because peoples circumstances can change suddenly. He did have a clearly stated 48hr cancelation fee policy though.

If he had suggested charging a client for a months worth of work because they decided to change provider (especially if this was precipitated by them feeling he'd been unprofessional) I'd have told him he was off his conker and given him this face till he came to his senses. I guess I should have thought of that earlier!

So I'd be ok to pay for a session I had booked and not attended. I'd even possibly consider it fair to pay for the next weeks session (but maybe I'm a soft touch), out of goodwill if what had happened today hadn't happened. It felt unsafe and pushy in addition to money oriented in a way I felt was really unprofessional.

It wasn't that it was a challenging session, there was something that felt really not right about today. It's the second time I have stated a reasonable boundary and the therapist has not respected those boundaries.

I've been trying to be very open about giving therapy a fair shot and respecting the process even if I'm not entirely sure I can see where it's going or how it's helping, but I felt totally unheard today, figuratively and quite literally unheard because I was talked over a lot of the time, and they said some things at the end that left quite a bad taste for me.

Part of the reason I'm in therapy is because my boundaries have been ridden roughshod over and I've been shouted down all my life. I am recovering from abusive relationships and all that goes with that so it was really horrible to have my "safe" space feel so similar to how I felt around my abusers.

It's been a really bad day so thank god for MN, I really needed calm sensible people to give some opinions to figure out up from down.

OP posts:

GreyCarpet · 16/09/2021 21:50

@gogohm

Presumably you communicate this and your terms and conditions to the clients at the start of the process though and don't just land it on them when they no longer require your services?

Original poster

Thecoffeecuprunsdry · 16/09/2021 21:57

I've just had a reply to say I'm being refunded the 4 weeks "notice" payment.

Seriously thank you all very much

OP posts:

me4real · 16/09/2021 22:03

So sorry to hear you had a nasty experience.

It was dropped on me today during a dispute that a month's notice and payment for the sessions was a requirement.

He can't tell you something's a requirement if he didn't tell you that when you started seeing him- well he can say it but I'd say it's unenforcible.

Usually the person would tend to just tell the therapist they were finishing therapy, by phoning or whatever. If I've liked the therapist then I might have a roundup/summary/concluding appointment.

The only thing I've heard of is if someone books 6 sessions in a block so they get one free/discounted, and then they drop out after session 5 or something, a therapist might not be happy with that and ask them to pay what they would've paid if they'd booked the appointments singly.

If you aren't happy then you can complain to the BACP or any other professional body he's in.

It can be trial and error to find a therapist that suits you and some can be crap or even dodgy.

I think I'd always see a female therapist rather than a male- I'd feel safer and also they might be more able too understand some experiences.

me4real · 16/09/2021 22:06

@Thecoffeecuprunsdry Glad to hear that. xx

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 16/09/2021 22:19

Do they have a website with terms and conditions or a sign in their reception/office? You need at the list to have been told where their terms and conditions are and that by starting therapy you agree to those. Better if they're handed/sent/verbally told to you. The private psychologists my DC have seen require 24 hours notice to cancel a session without charge. Outside that time frame I could cancel everything and DC not go back, there's no contract.

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 16/09/2021 22:21

Just saw your update, great to see that. Given you weren't provided with terms and conditions and they haven't defended this it sounds like you wee

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 16/09/2021 22:22

...were very right to leave. Sounds like they were trying to take advantage of your struggles with boundaries.

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