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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Irritable, snappy, nasty and impatient

3 replies

harmione · 16/09/2021 16:21

I feel as if I am turning into a pretty unpleasant person and I could really do with some help, support and guidance.

I live with DP and our baby. I’ve recently gone back to work after a period on maternity leave. Having a baby hasn't all been plain sailing: was born just before the third lockdown so had a pretty miserable time of it to start with. However, as the months went by and the weather improved and things opened I’ve been fairly busy and active, made lots of new friends and so on.

But now … so many things which have bothered me for a long time but I’ve managed to contain have really started to drive me mad.

I get so irritated with DP. If I need something, he just doesn’t do it. He doesn’t refuse: he says he will and then vanishes or he gets tied up in something else. And it’s made me realise how resentful I still am - when we had the baby I remember actually being hungry because I kept asking him to go to the supermarket and he just didn’t. I had to ask over and over and it was hours later he went. These days I don’t bother; I go myself, and he’ll eventually go. It pisses me off so much.

We are supposed to be selling the house and buying a new one together. Paid a mortgage broker, got that all sorted. I’ve now realised that this won’t happen, and I can’t understand why he went along with it.

Then yesterday he booked a holiday for us at new year so presumably he isn’t thinking of leaving me.

We have virtually no quality time so finding the time to talk about these issues is hard. And also I’m a bit worried about unleashing months of pent up frustration over minor but very frustrating things.

I do think I have some PND lingering too which I wonder is impeding my ability to see things clearly.

Can anyone help?

OP posts:
bookish83 · 16/09/2021 16:22

It is really hard to find your groove after returning to work. It is exhausting having a new routine and I found that that made me really grumpy. Like my brain couldn't focus on everything at once. People also irritate me more than they did pre baby!

harmione · 16/09/2021 16:46

Thanks, I can relate to that!

OP posts:
Crumpledpancake · 17/09/2021 14:16

I know this isn't really useful but I read a meme once that made me laugh. It said "Ladies, if you ask your man to do something he will do it. You don't have to remind him every 6 months." I thought that was hilarious and so true.

Some men are just shit at getting things done. I have these thoughts towards my DH too, but I just change to a sharper tone of voice and it gets done. Also giving a deadline helps. Like "I'm very hungry, could you please go to the shop in the next 10/30 mins helps.

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