I keep upsetting everyone

[Letdownsgain]

So I’ve been having a really tough week mentally. I just don’t have any energy, I haven’t spoken to any of my friends and I just have nothing to say. I recently got some news Tuesday night that really really took a toll on me mentally. Still dealing with that. My friend asked me to participate in something to do with her business, only a small amount of money and it would of helped her. I opened the message and meant to get back fo her but then I got the news.

So I didn’t reply to her and I saw a really nasty message saying how she will never help her friends again. People ask her for favours and money but never help her and her business out. I messaged her saying I’m sorry I forgot to reply I don’t like the way she went about it. I said I was in a bad place and soenthing has happened.

The thing is I’ve helped her with money many many times. It never was an issue she always paid me back. My anxiety is through the roof now, I hate upsetting people and I genuinely forgot. She’s now ignoring me and I feel awful

I wouldn't feel awful. Id feel angry - It sounds like your friend could be in an MLM or something. If her business is doing well, why should she need to guilt trip friends into doing things for her?

I always look at a message as an invitation to reply - it's not mandatory and if you're in a bad place, I don't see why her needs should be more important than yours.

I appreciate why your anxiety is high, but if you take a step back, what did you do 'wrong'? Nothing - It's only Thursday afternoon, so you've not replied to her for what? 48 hours? If that's unusual for you, I'd have sent you a 'Are you OK?' message, not passively-aggressively posting on Social Media.

She's not a friend, she's an arse. I imagine she expects you to grovel, do whatever she asks to 'show how sorry you are'. I wouldn't engage with her and let her come to you.

I hope you're OK and that your news on Tuesday night isn't too bad

Is it an MLM?

So, to look at it another way... from her point of view, a long trusted friend who has frequently been a source of support in the past failed to respond quickly and the reassurances she was given that this was because of a genuine unexpected event fell on deaf ears.
The problem is not you.
Don't waste time feeling guilty!
She owes you an apology. At best she is desperate and that is making her react badly to things, but it would be more likely she is being totally self absorbed and needs to stop believing that if she can brow beat people enough so she'll be able to live the dream!

You shouldn't feel awful. You're not under any obligation to reply to a message the second you see it. A true friend wouldn't be offended and would assume you're busy.
Focus on yourself right now, and don't worry about what others expect of you.

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate it. It’s not a MLM, I actually don’t know exactly what it is but it was participating in a raffle. I was going to do it I just didn’t get round to it. I didn’t even want the prizes but wanted to support her. She doesn’t know I received bad news but I have been quiet so I’m disappointed that she tried to imply I use her. I have borrowed money from her in the past or but only a small amount and paid back a few days later. She put in her message don’t bother I’m not helping even if you’re down to your last £. Implying I rely on her for money???

Raffles = deffo MLM

She sounds bonkers and hard work. You have done nothing wrong.

She sounds awful!!

It is not normal to rant at a friend because they don't immediately answer a message. People sometimes miss messages, or are too busy, or ill, or want to respond when they have more time etc. ALl perfectly normal.

To move straight to a rant suggesting you're a bad friend and she no longer wants anything to do with you is plain weird. Has she always been like that?

Anyway - whether she has or whether this is just recent, you must not feel guilty. You have done literally nothing wrong. Even if you'd responded and said 'I don't want to contribute this time' she would have no right to be angry at you. That is your choice.

Please don't contact her again. Certainly don't apoligise as that will just encourage her to think she's right, and she'll keep acting badly. You will be much better off without her. I would ignore and move on. This is her, not you. Even if she 'relents' this time I imagine she'll just do it again in the future. Noone needs 'friends' like that.

You say you keep upsetting 'everyone'. What do you mean by that? Is it just this friend (in which case that's her, not you at fault)?

You seem to have low self-esteem to put up with a friend like her. Most of us would know she is 100% in the wrong and leave her to it, no suggestion of guilt.

Know your worth. You deserve better friends than her.