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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH always tries to make me look stupid

9 replies

donnaride · 04/12/2007 20:58

DH came home with a Jeremy Clarkson book a few days ago. What normally happens is he will buy a book, read it and then shove it somewhere until it gets lost. He never reads stuff twice and never sells anything.
Anyway we have this ongoing joke about top gear and jeremy clarkson where he loves it, I hate it and we "argue" over it playfully.
So when he brought this book home I defaced the front cover, giving jeremy vampire teeth and evil eyes. When he noticed he went mad and said it wasn't his book, it was his friend's so I felt a bit daft, apologised and said I would buy a new one first thing. He said no, he would take the defaced book back to his mate and show him what I'd done. I told him not to be stupid and he said it was my own fault etc etc and they would all have a good laugh at me at work.

He always does this, when we're in company he will tell everyone something stupid I have said to make me look small and last week I sent him a silly text message and he went and showed it to everyone at work and they were all ripping the piss out of me all day, one of them even text me something crude.

I feel like I always have to watch what I do around him and watch what I say. Im starting to avoid asking questions about anything at all because he turns it around and makes it look like I asked something gormless before telling everyone.

I know I shouldnt have drawn on the book but is he really justified in going out of his way to make me look daft all the time?

OP posts:
HoHoHoOfWalsall · 04/12/2007 21:02

Wow, I do things like that to DH all the time but making you look stupid is taking it too far. Have you confronted him about it?

onebatmother · 04/12/2007 21:04

No he definitely isn't justified.
It was a funny joke,it backfired, you apologized and were about to make good.

I don't know why he might be doing this, other than low self esteem and a need to bring you down.

Just wanted you to know that it's not right.

LoveMyGirls · 04/12/2007 21:08

Thats really sad. Have you told him seriously how hurt you feel?

madamez · 04/12/2007 22:14

It's a bit of a tricky one, because tbh it canbe a bit difficult to live with someone who plays silly jokes and sends silly text messages all the time. Are you both quite young? Has he ever said, politely, that he doesn't find your jokes that funny? Because if he has, and you haven't listened, then he might be getting a bit less respectful because he is fed up with your behaviour.

It does sound like you need to have a bit of a talk, and both of you listen to each other's point of view.

maximummummy · 04/12/2007 22:30

errrmm . . . wot a tosser . . . . tell him to feck off

HansieMom · 04/12/2007 22:41

If the book is still around, you could destroy the front cover so that he can't take it for show and tell.

Before I even read your letter (had just read the subject line), I thought, "he's not self-confident". If he was, he would have no need to put down someone else which he is doing to make himself look better.

He sound immature and lacking in confidence. Maybe the whole bunch at work is the same. At any rate, his actions at work will make people think less of him.

I would think, "how dare you? How dare you say something bad about me at work!"

MrsFlora · 04/12/2007 22:58

he sounds like a proper twat. I would not allow anyone say that to me espcially my husband! He and his work colleagues are cruel and disrespectful. I would like to encourage you to stand to him.

What you did to the book is very funny! Although i would make it dissapear and buy a new one! Don't allow him to take the piss out of u!

Out of curiosity. What does he do for living?

HappyDaddy · 05/12/2007 14:26

My ex used to do stuff like this. That's why she's my ex.

Obviously I've simplified it but it's an intolerable situation.

What a prick your dh is.

MrsFlora · 05/12/2007 18:26

What did you do with the book? Let us know!

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