Quick poll - do you think this is OK or not?

[OohItsAShinyBlueBalloon]

Been seeing someone since about Feb. Known him for a couple of years.

I'm going out with one of his friends this evening to a social event. He knows and is fine with it. His friend and I obviously don't see any problem with it.

But I've been surprised at the responses of other people that it's 'just wrong'. I don't know his friend well - we've met about half a dozen times or so but it was something that came up in conversation that we both fancied doing and didn't know anyone else who did. So we're going together.

Do you personally think this is OK?

(Will be doing it anyway! Just curious )

People can be very odd about opposite sex friendships.

I’d be absolutely fine with it, to my husband it would probably be such a dealbreaker that it would ruin our marriage- so both opinions!

I'm talking a lots with my 10yo DD these days about things that are her business, things that are other peoples buiness, and the importance to know the difference.

SHE'S TEN!!

It's your buiness. No one elses's business.

You’re so cool.

I think I'd be really happy if (in your situation) my bf and friend were showing signs of getting on well. You've been above board. Noone has feelings. Your bf is happy. No issue.

@JackieWeaversZoomAc

I'm talking a lots with my 10yo DD these days about things that are her business, things that are other peoples buiness, and the importance to know the difference.

SHE'S TEN!!

It's your buiness. No one elses's business.

Good point!

@SeaShoreGalore

You’re so cool.

I am. But not for this reason. Well done.

Hope you enjoy your evening, OP

No problem with it whatsoever. People have weird attitudes!

I remember when I was 17 and had a boyfriend, I used to go out with my friend on a Saturday night. Everyone we knew in the club used to catch the night bus home. I was chatting to some boys on the bus and another friend who was on the bus with her boyfriend asked "Have you and Pete split up then?" It seemed that simply speaking to another guy was off the agenda!

I think people are confusing that this is HIS friend who you hardly know. So the 'your life, your rules' motto doesn't work here. Because it's his friendship, and his life and of course he needs to be ok with it.

In all honesty, if it was a long standing bf, who knew my friends well, then yes, I'd be ok with him meeting up with them without me. However, for a newish bf, I'd be possessive of my friendships as I wouldn't want him in my life through them, if we ever broke up. My friendships are sacred to me, and it would be awful if we broke up but he ended up staying close friends with them, because of me. But I like maintaining distance between my friendships and my relationship, as if one ends, I don't want the other to carry the fall out, if I can help it.

Similarly, I wouldn't do that with a newish bf's friends either. He deserves to have a space and friendships outside of me, that doesn't include me. Even if he was ok with it.

That's the only reason I maintain distance.

But those

My nearly 90 mother always had male friends of her own, but latterly she and my dad had a couple of married friends from abroad- he used to come over to see his football team in the U.K. and take her to see the footie too - never an issue - my dad didn’t like football and it made her happy - especially joking he came across Europe to take her out at her age. They totally trusted each other and were happy for the other to go do stuff they enjoyed always - as well as also doing a lot together. I like this kind of approach but realise it doesn’t always work well but hoping yours does OP.

Yes I would be fine with this as I trust my partner and my friends. Some of you need to get better friends and better partners!

Just as an example, my colleague's wife became very good friends with a very good friend of his (male, if irrelevant), over a decade. He never had an issue with it, and they often hung out 1 on 1, as they had a shared hobby, my colleague didn't enjoy. No feelings on either side (well, not obvious ones anyway!)

However, his wife and the friend had a falling out, and the wife didn't want the friend around anymore. It put my colleague is a terrible position, as he was torn between the two. It meant he could never invite his old mate along to events, as his wife would refuse to attend if he was there, and he had to reduce contact. Friend eventually got fed up of this social ostraicization and drama and ended friendship with both completely.

I would absolutely hate this to happen to me. So I think friendships and relationships should stay separate.