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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

life is so draining

2 replies

suzieeee1 · 15/09/2021 10:05

hi everyone, its my first post here and tp be honest i didnt know where to turn to. so first a little back story. myself and my husband have been together 15 years married for 5. 2 beautiful girls who if wasnt here right now i dont think i would be. so ever since my 2nd girl was born 4 years ago my husband has become more and more moody, angry etc. so much so i literallt feel like the old me has gone and ive been replaced by a zombie. im phisically and mentally drained. he calls me names, has mood swings like a teenager going through puberty. our sex life isnt grest due to the fact i cant stand to sleep with someone who treats me like shit. if im on my period he sleeps downstairs on the sofa and wont speak to me becuase he knows we wont be getting intermet. his emotions are up and down like a yoyo and i cant keep up. one seconds were having a nice hug watching a movie or something and im absolutely shattered 2 kids, working full time and doing everything in the house. he mentions sex and i say no then he pushes me off and ignores me, sometimes this can last for days. he doesnt help at all in the house. in 15 years he has never once cooked a dinner, bathed the children or even turnt the washing machine on. it was my birthday 2 weeks ago and not even a card sad and then he ignored me for the whole day. i have no family close by and no friends becaue ive become so intreverted i have no one. after the birth of my second it was very tramatic and i was in hospital for 2 weeks after the birth and didnt get intermate with him for a 8 months. which to him was the crime of the century. its always my fault and he can do no wrong. i literally feel like im stuck and i cant get out 😭

OP posts:
SimoneSimone · 15/09/2021 11:03

You are not stuck and you can get out. Just put your mind to it.

discombobulatedonion · 15/09/2021 16:57

Oh, OP. It's so hard. I've been in your situation (albeit not for as long) and I really had to push myself to get out.

Make an action plan. Who will you stay with? Once you figure that out, start slowly moving your stuff into their house over a period of weeks/months. Rent storage if you really have to (and if you struggle to afford that, I'm sure someone could help you with that) if there's not enough room to move everything you own to someone else's house. Start looking for new work (if possible). Start finding a new place to live so that when you do move in with someone else temporarily, you can look forward to having your own space again.

It's bloody hard, and I won't tell you to "just get out", because it really isn't as easy as that. But you can do it Flowers

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