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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Leaving a long marriage

5 replies

BeachDrifting · 15/09/2021 08:55

I’ve realised that my very long marriage is no longer meeting any of my needs and I’m sick of the frequent sulks and moods and the general shittiness of my marriage. It’s just working and I’ve had enough. I want a happy life away from him. He calls all of the shots financially and emotionally. I realised over the last few years that I have no real life other than him and my kids and no local support system. We moved here for my husbands job. So after being a SAHM for many years I finally managed to get myself a job. It’s long hours and little pay but it’s a start. My question is what do I do next? Covid means there are no properties to rent in my area and the market has gone insane. People are bidding against each other to buy houses in my area. I can’t afford anything. I live in one of the most expensive areas in the UK. I don’t know what to do. I have about 12 years until all my kids are finished school. I need to be living somewhere affordable. Has anyone been in a similar position? What did you do? Thanks

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 15/09/2021 08:57

You need legal advice, you might not have to move out. Gather all the financial information you can and book to see a lawyer.

BeachDrifting · 15/09/2021 09:04

I do. It’s a huge house and I can’t afford the bills. It doesn’t make any sense to persist in such a huge place. It’s time draining and expensive. I don’t want it or that lifestyle. I want small, cheap, easy and simple.

OP posts:
Jerseygirl12 · 15/09/2021 09:52

How much equity do you have in the house, how much are in both your pensions if any?

BeachDrifting · 15/09/2021 10:14

I have no pension. I have enough equity to buy a reasonable sized 3 bed semi in a cheaper area

OP posts:
Irishg · 15/09/2021 15:44

Start divorce proceedings on grounds of unreasonable behaviour
Once decree nisa is granted see a mediator, that' s important to sort our your financial affairs, before you apply for decree absolute, if that does not work see a solicitor and start applying for financial order, you are entitled to half or more of your assets combined. Start a new life with your kids. And start living again

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