Exp was a vile mental abuser I spent many years with. His family are normal, decent lovely people..have no real idea of what he's like. His mum had an inkling, knew he had a very bad temper but not the extent of his manipulation and lies. I always got on well with her, both of his parents, but she was very special to me. She wasn't one for being soppy and neither am I but i'm pretty sure she knew how much I cared about her. She never got involved or took sides when he went off on one of his rants and I never told her how awful he was to me.
I found out she died this week, i'd known how ill she was for a while. Exp and I haven't been together for 3 years but I admit, I searched his fb a few months ago wondering how she was, I loved her dearly and was heartbroken after I had to end the relationship that I had no excuse to stay in contact with her. Anyhow, it was apparent he has a new gf, they've been together about four months from the looks of it. She's very much a "post hearts and flowers all over facebook" sickly sweet type of person. At first, I admit I was worried for her but resisted the urge to warn her as i'd just look unhinged and it wouldnt achieve anything.
So I kinda feel angry seeing her posting all over exp's wall how much she loved his mum, hearts, kisses, angels, always in your heart, flowers blah blah for all his family and our mutual friends to see. She barely knew the woman. She wasn't the one who wasted years of her life suffering and trying to please that woman's son, and hiding everything he did so as to not upset her, no, that was me. But oh you'd think they were best buds, it makes me look like a cold bitch.
Meanwhile my feelings have nowhere to go. I can't tell my own friends or family why i'm upset, they hated exp and assumed his family were all idiots.
I dont know if it's triggered something from the past with him, that my feelings are invalid. I can't explain it, i'm not jealous of the new gf, far from. I feel cheated, that I never really got to say goodbye to someone I cared about so much, and noone will ever know because I never posted endless fucking waffly hearts and drivel all over fb.
Would it be inappropriate to send a card to the house (his dad and family) I want them to know that I cared? We never parted on bad terms, I pretty much just disappeared, they dont know exp was an abuser, just that it didnt work out. It wouldnt be weird to them that I've heard as we have a lot of mutual friends, all know each other etc.
Sorry if that doesn't make a lot of sense.