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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

A post to give everyone in an emotionally abusive, or just unhappy relationship hope

4 replies

DuchessHastingss · 14/09/2021 20:55

Hi everyone, I have posted on here many times under many different usernames, looking for advice and hope to get me out of what seemed like an impossible situation. So many of you were so understanding and helped me through the worst time in my life.

I have 4 DC, been married twice and had 2 DC from each marriage. My stbexh was enotionallyband financially abusive for years and I couldn’t really see it properly. I thought it must be me as he was always so plausible with his gaslighting. I moved out of our bedroom in March this year and left our family home, taking DC with me at the start of May, I can honestly say I am happy! It’s the hardest but best decision I have ever made. My DC are happy again, don’t get me wrong, they play me up and life is hard sometimes, but the good far outweighs the bad. I left our 5 bedroom detached house in a great area to rent a tiny 3 bedroom terraced house in a not so great area, houses and stuff do not make you happy.

I wanted to come back on here and say a massive thank you to everyone who posted on my threads, supported me from afar and basically gave me courage I didn’t think possible to totally change mine and my DC lives.

If anyone is reading this feeling stuck, message me, or post on this thread, you really can do it and come out the other side happy!

OP posts:
GoodnightGrandma · 14/09/2021 21:05

Well done for changing your life.
The one reason I don’t go is because I don’t want to lose the house.

DuchessHastingss · 14/09/2021 21:13

@GoodnightGrandma I was worried about the same thing. But when it comes down to it, it really is just bricks and mortar. I didn’t realise how unhappy I was until I left, I love my tiny rental, it’s peaceful, filled with love and a mess when I chose not to clean up! Do it, you won’t regret it!!
My solicitor will deal with it when he does, I’m not that bothered anymore

OP posts:
StillWeRise · 14/09/2021 21:27

that's brilliant to read OP thanks for sharing and I hope you and DC continue to thrive.

category12 · 14/09/2021 21:29

That's great, well done OP, glad you're happier now Grin

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