Ex is back online and it really hurts

[SwordfromtheStone]

I met a guy online and really he thought he was special, we were together for 18 months but he decided to dump me during lockdown - I never knew why.

I've really found it hard to get over him especially being alone during such a hard time. I still miss him and what (I thought) we had but I'm trying to move on and thought I'd give online another try - 3 guesses whose profile I came across.

It just hurts so much to see him out there again and to know he's going to be as lovely to someone else as he once was to me. I still don't understand what went wrong and how one minute we could be so close then the next he could completely cut off from me.

I caved and texted him which I know was a bad idea but he hasn't bothered to reply - probably blocked me anyway. I know he wasn't right for me and I'm better off without him but I'm very low and lonely and this has hit me hard. I cant get closure and I feel like I'll never trust anyone again.

I'm doing all the right things - I've come off the dating sites and am having counselling (not specifically related to him but he hasn't helped) but I'm really struggling. My friends and family have been supportive but I'm sure they're sick of hearing it now especially as everyone has had a tough time lately. I just feel so sad and lost.

Don't really know what I want from posting this but any advice would be appreciated.

Take it one day at a time lovely
Some things are just not meant to be
He wasn't the one

I recently saw my ex back on a site and it really did knock me despite the fact that I've had a few dates myself this year since him. I guess I'm saying it would stung regardless but I think it hurts less when you are getting on with your own stuff. You just weren't suited for whatever reason or in my case, I find it easier to think he just wasn't that into me even though I thought he was wonderful. You'll definitely feel better with time.

This is why people should handle each other with respect and care. Suppose at least he didn't ghost you, but splitting with someone with no explanation of any reason to give closure is cruel if feelings have developed (which they would after 18months!).
Your emotions are normal and understandable. He should have done better at leaving your life. Quality people end their relationships well not just start them well. I think it is hurtful being discarded like a sock.
It is common but that doesn't make it nice.

I think it's normal for this to be a bit of a horrible surprise, seeing him there. Virtually.
Rejection is really painful.

But I always found it somehow comforting knowing that the obstacle had been hurdled, yes it hurt, but you've seen it - it's happened- you're still standing.

I'd say don't delete the dating apps.. have therapy but also be open to meeting someone.

Your doing the right things, be kind to yourself and it will get easier

I just wish I knew how long, it’s well over a year now - I’m tired of hurting 🙁

I think perhaps write down the reasons why he wasn’t right for you. Your own reasons. Then the reasons why you feel you miss him or even want him. Do you actually want him or are you feeling lonely? If the latter then do stuff that will make you feel good about the things you are doing now in your life.

Its horrible because you didn't get closure. He didn't respect you enough to give you an explanation.

Your OP says about him being "lovely" to someone else. Its just an illusion, an act, like he pretended to be lovely with you.

Relationships can end for any reason but after 18 months the way that he went about it points to him being an arsehole, deep down in his personality.

I know its hard but you need to let go of this fake ideal you have of this man. It won't just be you he treats like this.