Woman thinks I'm after her husband.

[BrokenDolly]

I'll try and keep it brief.

My DD joined a kickboxing class two years ago. I joined it too a few months after her.

The instructor has a daughter at the same school as my DD so we obviously speak to each other outside of training. Mostly about kickboxing, sometimes about other trivial stuff such as the weather and christmas!

A few weeks ago he came to school dripping wet through, it was pissing it down, the kids had gone into school and he mentioned that he needed to get to work in the city centre and his car was knackered. I offered him a lift (as I was going anyway) and he accepted. Afterwards, he thanked me and I thought no more of it.

Last week I decided to buy my DD some kickboxing shorts for christmas but I obviously don't want her knowing about it so I pulled instructor aside and we had what must have looked like a "private whispered conversation" at the side of the hall. A few days later he pulled me aside during the class and handed me the shorts, again secretely for DD's sake.

Anyway he's been on at me to train twice a week instead of the current once a week. A few days ago he asked me again when I'm planning to train more and I jokingly said "oh alright, after christmas I promise I'll come twice a week". He then replied with "you better!" again, jokingly.

Anyway, yesterday his wife phoned me and asked me what was going on between us. I asked her what she was on about and she replied "meeting up in the playground, he's always in your car and now private conversations during training". I was shocked and explained the situation as it is but she still wasnt happy and asked me to quit the class. Apparantly he didn't know she had phoned.

I saw him today and he did seem none the wiser, still chatting as always.

Now, do I a) quit the class (which I would hate to do as the kids would have to quit too and we love it)
b) keep going but distance myself from him of c) ignore her and carry on as always since there is genuinly nothing in it?

Am I being insensitive? surely she's kicking off over nothing or am I missing something?

THe absolute most anyone sane can expect from you is that you avoid out-of-class contact with this man - ie no lifts. But otherwise, avoiding his classes will make no difference. Maybe he's a serial shagger, maybe his wife is a paranoid twat who uses her emotional 'fragility' as a weapon.
I wouldn't tell him about the phone call though. If he is a nice bloke with a loony wife he'll be embarassed, if he is someone who habitually humiliates his wife then, however innocent you are, telling him about the phonecall kind of gives him the opportunity to go oh, my wife, what a nutter eh, she doesn't understand me, let me tell you all about it over dinner my dear. Etc.
If you stop attending the classes, then you lose out. ANd it probably won't stop his wife imagining that you are having a raging affair with him anyway (if she's irrational). Their marital problems are there look out not yours.

This is gonna sound awful like I am a big fibber but sometimes an ickle white lie with a good intention helps.

Can you make up a story to him that you are seeing someone new? May filter back and put her mind at rest and keep her off your/his back?

I dont agree, I dont think Dolly should have to start telling lies when she's done nothing wrong.

Oh God I take it back, if she's been there the whole time and this is her interpretation, maybe she is a little nutty. In which case I might even be a little scared to keep going! And I'd tell him why because she may be responsiable for a lot of drop-outs like this.

I would carry on with the class if you're enjoying it, but make sure that you keep your distance from him. (no lifts, etc)

Whether his wife is sensitive or not, there was obviously something that upset her sufficiently to call you, which must have been very difficult for her.

But I would tell him about the phone call. And also explain that this is why you are being less friendly.

tell him about the call, and cool it a bit.

Some years ago, a friend of mine had a part time job working for a photographer (cataloguing his pics, tidying up his files etc - this was in the days before digital). All of a sudden she started getting all sorts of threatening phone calls - it turned out the photographer's wife had paid some blokes to phone and threaten her because the wife thought my friend was shagging the photographer. Now, not only had the photographer never made a move on my friend (she said he had a type he preferred and she definitely wasn't it) but she thought he was a twat, would rather have nailgunned her head to the floor than even snogged him, and was only working for him because he paid well and was generally out of the studio when she was working there.

SO just because someone is jealous doesn;t make them right or entitled them to behave badly.