Oh dear. I went out last night to see a male friend. He promptly told me that the father of my children, who has completely ditched me during my last trimester(the baby is due end Jan), has got a new girlfriend who he has been "hiding". I think he used my car and some of my cash to 'pull' her and he took my 19 month old son to stay there without permission, and he came back clingy and upset (I didn't know why until now).
Well, I'm not proud to say that, on top of everything else the selfish rat has done recently, this news instantly compelled me to down some drinks I shouldn't have had (which I feel v bad about today)... and then this guy rather inadvisably furnished me with the girlfriend's mobile number, which happened to be stored on his phone. I sent a number of heinously unsavoury texts to her, followed by some other ones telling my parents, etc., that I am "miserable".
I am ashamed.
To make matters worse, my Mum called me and I stupidly repeated the sorry tale, including about the text messages and the drinks. And now my folks think I am irresponsible, depressive and a bit mad (like some sort of bunny boiler)! It is all too hideous for words.
Has anyone else been driven to ridiculous and embarrassing behaviour or is it just me?
I have already disassociated myself from the father of my children as I can't deal with constant trauma but, clearly, the destructive effects and the hurt of being let down don't disappear from one's mind so quickly.