How do I get over this worry/ feeling

[Kitkattwix]

Partner is moving in with me in a months time we’ve been dating just over a year and a half he’s moving because of work and because we really want to live together. He’s keeping his flat to rent until we buy somewhere together in the future. I’ve got a condition called endometriosis it’s causing me to be sick for 13 days a month while I’m on my period I just cry in pain and survive on pain meds etc and some other conditions related to it like I’m permanently exhausted or sleeping struggle to do anything too strenuous. My boyfriend is extremely understanding caring kind etc but I’m really worried about him living with me while I’m really ill when im alone and he’s at his I hug the toilet bowel cry in pain and survive on sleeping any hours im not working. Im worried he’s at to find it all to much even though he’s seen me at my worst and reassured me that he loves me no matter what and me being ill won’t change anything. I guess im also very independent with being ill and I don’t want him to feel like he’s caring for me like today I passed out at home on the sofa with pain but I managed to make myself some cereal fill my hot water bottle have some
Morphine and sleep it off yes it took me a while to do it all slowly but i know if he was here he would do it all for me because he wants to help but how do I get over that feeling how do I let him help with out making myself feel like I have a career or am unwell I often don’t like to admit I’m ill last month I spent ten minutes crying in the loo at work after being sick before I cleaned my face and got back
Out to the customers. I worry if he has to help me all the time and not just the odd moments when we are together it’s all going to be to much for him

Also I am seeing numerous specialists I’ve had 3 surgeries etc hopefully my condition will get better one day

I'm sorry your health is so bad. Either of you could decide that living together isn't working, for whatever reason. So please don't worry about your ill health causing issues. If he's aware of your symptoms and how you manage them, is sympathetic and understanding, then it won't cause many problems. If he isn't, you'll probably kick his uncaring arse out.

Thank you think I’m worrying over nothing as my ex was so uncaring when I was ill not driving me to a and e because he would rather play video games ignoring me when I projectile vomited and fainted to walk upstairs. My current partner would never dream of doing anything like that at all but it’s clearly worrying me that I’ll become to much of a burden

Feeling better think I was having a bad 5 minutes after a night of being really unwell x

Glad to hear that. 💐 Hopefully you get some treatment and relief soon.

When you have a chronic illness, and you've had a bad flare up, it's common to fall into a pattern of negative thinking - the pain batters at your self esteem and logical thinking, the exhaustion can leave you emotional, and you wonder why anyone would ever want you. Couple that with an ex partner who didn't give a shit and you've got a recipe for misery!

A family member suffered terribly with endometriosis but did get a lot of relief after having a total hysterectomy. I don't know how old you are, and that was many years ago so I don't know if that's still the usual solution, but do you feel you're getting the right treatment from your GP/consultant? Or are you being prescribed heavy and potentially addictive pain meds to fob you off? Don't be afraid to kick up a fuss and change GPs if this one isn't interested. You may have to go private to get better treatment but when you think long term, the investment now could increase your earning power - having this much downtime is surely hurting your career prospects.

Your partner sounds like a good'un - let him know what you need from him, manage his expectations, and ALLOW him to care for you. He loves you. Needing his support doesn't make you weak or needy, it just makes you human 💐

Thanks I’ve paid to go private I’m doing everything I can and am trying every potential remedy that’s suggested to me currently paying for pelvic floor therapy I’m 27 so want my own children if I can so hysterectomy isn’t an option yet or a real solution but it does work for some thank you all for the support I definitely get really low self esteem when I’m ill and struggle with feeling positive

Hi OP,

I just wanted to say how incredible you sound, to deal with all the pain that you do. I was horrified reading your description of what you go through. I'm just so sorry. I've no doubt that your partner will have just as much admiration for you, and I hope that when he moves in it'll be a reassurance that someone else can be with you at those times (as much as you might feel you don't want that). Just wanted to say how I admire how you cope with your illness, and I really really hope you find some respite from it very soon.

Thank you I cope quite well majority of the time although it’s hard I’ve had one sick day this year and work actually booked the day off for me due to tonsillitis as I was happy to Come in. Consist of a lot of crying in the loo at work pain killers massage therapy etc and not working full time which sucks as I really Wish I was able to earn more money but it’s not physically possible with out me ending up in a and e