Sex!

[hellfire29]

So here goes… realise that I may be opening myself to a mumsnet blasting but…. there must be others thinking like me too!

In my 40’s, divorced and now single after wasting 6 months with a man that just wanted to hold hands! 🤦‍♀️. I have two beautiful children one with additional needs. One child sees dad, one child doesn't.. so any alone time is dependent on asking others to have children, which I rarely do. I do have some spare time during the school day but not every day.

I would love a relationship at some point… but my god what I really want at the moment is someone who actually wants me (or would do a good impression of it) to kiss me and jump my bones!

I am a larger lady, but never had a problem finding a man (perhaps the wrong one!😂😂) and I get lots of offers on dating apps but the whole meeting up for the sole intention of sex feels a bit sordid.

If you do it, where do you meet? I don't want anyone in my house and not sure about going to their place

Has anyone actually paid for it.. I mean at least I would be getting what I want?

I cannot be the only single woman that wants to be satisfied by someone else for a change?!?

Help?

I have a friend who does. I've managed to persuade her not to take them back to her house. I think she meets up with them in a pub for a drink and then, if she doesn't get a bad feeling about them, they either go back to his or arrange a follow up meeting.

I still think it's really risky but 🤷🏻‍♀️

So you just want sex without commitment, but it feels wrong to use a hookup app, yet right to pay for it??

Get on Tinder and fill your boots for free. Just got to filter out the serious ones from the fuck boys that you're after.

You are absolutely not alone in wanting to experience good sex!

If you don't want to go to their house then a hotel or air bnb room would be an option? I will say though, anywhere you go that isn't your house, take a spy cam finder with you as it is becoming increasingly common for women to be filmed non-consensually during sexual encounters.

Also what is the reason you don't want to go to their house? If you don't feel safe enough to go to a man's house I would take that as an indicator that it's best not to be alone with him anywhere.

I have never and would never pay for sex due to the human rights issues involved in prostitution.

The thing with one night stands though is...hiw much are they really interested in helping you..
arrive?

I mean if you really up with men how often they make you satisfied with how often you make them... then again, maybe some ons men are more eager to please.

I guess youd have a good idea whats what when they try to skip all foreplay lol. Then you could excuse yourself to the bathroom and climb out the window or something xD

I'm the opposite of pp though in that I would not take them to MY house. I'd rather not risk them knowing where I live incase they turn out to be creepers.

As for the spycams, that's a good shout though. You just never know.

*tally up
Not really up

I think that quite a few men like larger ladies, so I’m sure you’ll have no problems finding someone

I used a hook-up site to find sex, it’s pretty simple, there’s certainly no need to pay! Personally I prefer using my own house rather than somewhere unfamiliar, but you definitely need to vet them and meet in public first. I’m a size 16 so described myself as large and I got a lot of messages from guys interested in larger ladies so don’t worry about that! I think I was too small for a lot of them lol! I found a nice bloke, 10 years younger than me, great body, great sex that I can see when it suits. Good luck.

Lots of men out there who love bigger women so defo don't worry about that. Just make sure your pics are accurate.

Don't EVER go to a guys house on first meet - you don't know where the exits are, plus the aforementioned camera possibility. Equally I wouldn't bring anyone back to mine on first meet - it's my private space.

Solution: budget hotel. Book it yourself, then you know he can't have planted cams, plus you can get ready there. For a daytime meet, check out dayrooms.com - you can often get really good hotels for a fraction of the usual price.

Also in a hotel, there's cctv, and lots of other people - if you start screaming, it will be noticed (probably by someone moaning to reception about the noise, but you would be heard.)

Bear in mind your first meets are basically you auditioning them for an ongoing FWB arrangement. Meet them in the bar (or a different bar) and if you're not feeling it, just say "sorry I don't think think we're suited, but thanks for a nice evening." Do this in a public place. Do NOT be alone with them until you're sure you want to fuck them.

And always tell a friend where you're going and who you're meeting, and check in with them halfway through the date!

I think there has been some helpful advice here. It’s also nice that, so far, you have not been shot down in flames. Women have needs but can also be terribly judgemental of each other.

I would suggest looking for at least 2 friendships rather than one with people you are respectful and that you are comfortable with.

There is a balance to be struck between a serious long term relationship and special friendships. You still will need individual(s) who can string a sentence together and you can enjoy a glass of wine with as well as passionate liaisons.

We are fortunate now in as much that we now have a proliferation of mid-range chain hotels which can offer cleanliness, comfort and safety to meet your needs.

Having said this, it is nice to see a person’s home for various reasons (their standards, no sign of a partner etc) even if your dates are held elsewhere. It’s a case of weighing up the risks.

Good luck and stay safe.

Why not just have one guy that you can see whenever you’re free and go on fun nights out or cosy nights in with a lot of fun 😉 in between? There’s plenty of men and women out there looking for the same. Don’t be shy this is your time to let your hair down and have some fun, you deserve it!

I always meet a potential partner for a drink in public before deciding if I want to sleep with them. Absolutely crucial to see if there is chemistry first!

If I fancy the arse off them, I'll invite them back to mine, either that night or by arranging another date. I much prefer the safety of my own home (I have a big dog and helpful neighbours!) than a hotel or stranger's house.

It's easier if you can find a FB or FWB so you don't have to keep vetting new guys.

Hi,

sex is very sensitive topic and it could break it or make it a relationship. Most important things is how you feel about your partner and one more point you need to consider how your partner behaviour towards sex and what are his/sexual preferences.

There is no one fit for all when its come to nurturing and building a relationships. You need to get that spark and make sure your relationship is healthy instead of toxic one. Try to engage with more people, couple and you can steamy audio porn as well.

Just be really honest in your profile

Trust me there are many nice men that are either single dads or just want casual

Nothing wrong with wanting good sex, we all are human after all and have needs.

Masturbation can get boring, we need someone to not only for orgasms but to make us feel wanted.

There are men out there that will be friends with benefits if that's what your after but don't fall for them as these can have side effects.