Judging myself so harshly that a relationship is impossible.

[MyFluffyPinkBlanketIsSoSoft]

Just that.

I judge myself so harshly that I won't even entertain a relationship because I don't feel good enough.

I'm ashamed of my looks and my body and I feel like I'm both too much and not enough in terms of personality.

It's so bad that if I feel I'm with women who are significantly more attractive than me, I become very small and don't engage at all.

Don't really have advice but wanted you to know it's not just you who feels like this. Especially the simultaneous 'too much yet not enough' part. Have you had any relationships previously?

Thanks for replying.

Nothing to write home about. Several things asking a few months but nothing serious.

*lasting

Where did all this start with you?. Was one or even both parents critical or controlling of you?.

My mum was very critical and my dad was emotionally absent. Never had anything nice said to or about me. When I was a teenager if I said anything about boys or someone had looked at me it was always why would he be looking at/interested in you?! with a or a sneer.

Everything about me was either too much or not enough. I wasn't thin, or pretty, or compliant, or agreeable, or docile, or subservient enough. I was too clever, too challenging, too opinionated, too accomplished, too driven. I was told men would find me overbearing and domineering and too much like hard work, too strident, too independent. Everything about me was negative. I didn't have any positive traits at all. So I was told.

Everyone I've dated has thought the same. I'm usually the one to end things when they criticise me or try to change me.