Joking but not joking

[krj260888]

Hi

I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant with my third baby. Last night, My husband and I spent the evening at the maternity assessment unit due to me having all day contractions and pain. This was picked up on the ctg, I had an internal and a test done to see if I was going into established labour. They said at the moment they will put it down as painful braxton hicks and to take it easy but it could turn out to be preterm labour which I had with my first from 31 weeks. I was hospitalised with this for over a week and given steroids and on strict bed rest. If it continues or gets worse I need to go back in. Obviously this is a big worry.

Today, my husband had an outdoor activity booked which he hasn't done in years. He came home sore and bruised and moaning. I jokingly said "oh no maybe you are too old to do it now if you can't cope with a few bruises". (A big birthday is around the corner for him).

He turned around and said "maybe you are too old to have a baby, if you can't cope with pregnancy". I don't know if I am overreacting but with everything that happened last night, I'm quite emotional about things. I just feel like it was a dig and really unfair comment. I'm not that old btw, I'm 32.

You made a dig at him regarding an issue it seems you know he’s a bit sensitive about and he responded in turn. I think both of you need to apologise to each other and stop making “jokes” which aren’t jokes at all.

He just turned your own joke back on you, maybe you hit a nerve with him too. I wouldn't worry about this at all, you both probably owe on another an apology though

I hope everything goes OK with the rest of your pregnancy

Is he going to be 40? It sounds like he is a bit sensitive at maybe not being able to recover like he used to but it was still very insensitive to say that to you.

However, you know that you're still young and even if you weren't, Braxton hicks are normal and nothing to do with your age, so I would just brush it off.

And both remember that making jokes to someone about anything they're sensitive about is not on.

Well you said a silly and somewhat unkind thing to him and he said a silly and somewhat unkind thing to you in response.

What you said upset him and he reacted emotionally to it. Not great or very mature of him but then maybe you shouldn't have teased him in the first place.

Don't dish it out if you can't take it