Please help - slept with / begged ex

[Redrobin5]

Me and my ex broke up a week ago but I stupidly agreed to meet him for dinner and stay in a hotel together.

I could not stop going on about the break up which inevitably left him feeling like I was going on / annoying him. I just couldn’t stop my mouth from talking about it.

Then I slept with him - twice. He kept kissing me and telling me he missed me.

Need a handhold - I need my self respect and dignity back. I’m not in a good way.

Do you have anything else going on in your life to distract you?

@Pemmican not a whole lot. My job but I can hardly do that at the moment.

Delete and block number. Don't engage with any contact. Don't answer the door to him. No contact. Entirely. Otherwise he'll keep using you for sex.

Did you enjoy the sex? If you can think of it as something you did for your own pleasure, it takes the shame away.

Why are you worried about annoying him? You’ve only just split up, which is an emotional upheaval specific to both of you - why wouldn’t you want to discuss it?

Sounds unhealthy for you OP. Do you hope to get back together?

@AtrociousCircumstance we have discussed it a lot so feel like I’ve kept going on and on. His respect for me must be quite low.

I kept asking whether we were gonna meet again. Ugh

He's a bit of a git, isn't he?

Block him. Cry it out.

How long have you been together? Are there any children you both have? Why do you think he wanted to see you again? Maybe he wanted to get back together? And date didn't go as well as planned or how you both wanted.

@Pikachu2000 6 years and no, we are 25. I don’t think he wanted to get back together.

What a mess.

Redrobin, I recall your thread from a few days ago, where you feared you ‘will never get as good as your Ex.’

You’ve had him on a high pedestal since you got together at university. You put all of your energy into him and neglected your career. He recently broke it off, as he has plans to move here to the U.S. You are devastated because you love him, but also because you will greatly miss his lavish, interesting lifestyle that he shared with you. You (wrongly) see yourself as beneath him.

He is very selfish man. He knows you are heartbroken and vulnerable, so he did you a great disservice by asking you out. You sabotaged your healing by going.

I hope that you can strengthen your boundaries and draw a firm line/resist meeting him again. I would suggest going no contact so that your emotional recovery can begin. Consider seeking counseling for support.

As many posters advised in your other thread, you have a lot going for you. You are young and have a degree from a good university. You can revitalize your career and develop rewarding interests and friendships. Use your agency to start building the life that you want.

Oh I've been there...several times and I know it feels proper shit. No contact really helped me, counting up the days since I last spoke to him knowing he would be wondering why I suddenly stopped chasing him, that feeling became empowering. Also I used to picture him showing his friends any messages I sent him and them all laughing at me. Another thing I've learned is that exes will tell you they miss you/love you/want you back. Then you will have the most amazing, passionate fuck and they will piss off the next morning and go back to being so cold and you are left back at the very start feeling heartbroken again. It always happens and has happened to me with many exes, it's as if they follow the same pattern...yet I've still to learn.

Delete his number and delete your social media at the very least. Hope you feel better soon, break ups are fucking awful

@MsDogLady thank you. I really do have him on a pedestal and I think he knows it. I am feeling so low in myself.

@tellittomyhead that’s hard to hear it always happens :( how can they do that to us so easily. I do think I should delete social media for a bit. But then I feel I am missing out somehow

Well he's a complete douchebag, isn't he? OP, you desperately need some distance from this arse of a man so that you can start to see him for what he is - certainly NOT a man who should be on a pedestal, but quite a nasty piece of work!

Chalk this up to a learning experience - you have learned that you need to go no contact with him for your own sanity. He knew exactly what would happen that evening, why else would he invite you to a hotel? Take charge by blocking him. Don't allow him to treat you this way. Imagine his confusion when you start treating him like the poo on your shoe that he is.

Do you have friends and family you can speak to in real life? If not, call the Samaritans. They are there for anyone, including you

If you feel very low then contact your GP and ask about getting some support via them. You might find that a low dose of antidepressant helps you get through this bit and gives you enough oomph to start making other changes.