First date in (at least) 13 years

[CheddarTheDog]

I’ve got a date next weekend and although I was feeling pretty confident about the whole thing, I’ve just completely freaked myself out.

Has it changed much?

I think I’m ok on how to look/dress - just me at my everyday best because that’s how I’m most comfortable. It’s a day date so not feeling too much pressure there either.

Just suddenly feel acutely aware of how different it is now, and I can only remember the weird dates I had before I met exH.

Anything I should know/remember?

Is this someone you've met already or someone you know through OLD?

OLD, so it really is an entirely new thing for me! I’ve only ever dated via meeting in social situations before.

I think I'd arrange to meet a friend afterwards - perhaps at her house - so that you have somewhere to go to immediately after the date. That might be 5 minutes in or 6 hours later, who knows! Just knowing you're going to see a friendly face will be great - if the date isn't good you can picture yourself telling her all about it and if it is good, then ditto!

Tell yourself you are just going to meet someone for a chat as that basically is what it is. Do not build your hopes up and have any expectations.
I have been doing OLD forever and had a date yesterday, first one that was keen to meet in real life / did not fade away and has managed to get me out in nearly 2 years. I always suggest a coffee and it is always day time and I always end the date within 2 hours.
Truth be told, I washed my hair, put on mascara, wore cropped jeans, t shirt and sandals, so not a lot of effort. I do not go overboard, this morning he text to say he would love to meet again, found me attractive, intelligent and easy to talk to.

Thank you! That’s all really reassuring

Just remember you're completely in control at every moment of the encounter. If you're uncomfortable you're free to vocalize it if you want to. If you want to leave at any point you are absolutely okay to do so, it's quite normal to meet up with someone who misrepresented themselves and it's totally okay to leave right away in that circumstance. It's also okay to leave at any moment if they do something to make you feel unsafe or uncomfortable. It's extremely important to listen to your gut and trust your instincts, you don't owe anyone anything including any kind of explanation.

I have had to leave immediately before because people have misrepresented themselves or said something quite alarming.

Hi, in similar situation, dating again after 13 year marriage followed by 18 month relationship. OLD can be daunting. Just dress comfortably for you and remember it's just a chat. My last 2 dates were actually really fun! Great meeting different people. I always send a photo from that week to them saying this is me. So they don't have any surprises.

@crimsonlake

Tell yourself you are just going to meet someone for a chat as that basically is what it is. Do not build your hopes up and have any expectations. I have been doing OLD forever and had a date yesterday, first one that was keen to meet in real life / did not fade away and has managed to get me out in nearly 2 years. I always suggest a coffee and it is always day time and I always end the date within 2 hours. Truth be told, I washed my hair, put on mascara, wore cropped jeans, t shirt and sandals, so not a lot of effort. I do not go overboard, this morning he text to say he would love to meet again, found me attractive, intelligent and easy to talk to.

I’ve been a little bit of OLD dating recently, and it’s just the same for men really, (but personally I don’t put on much mascara), I tend to reread the profile, reread the communications and did one time check out the agreed location beforehand as didn’t know where it was.