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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

OH spotted with another woman. What to think?

38 replies

chelsiekxoxo · 11/09/2021 22:43

A bit of background, i caught my OH in May having secret snapchat conversations with a girl he used to sleep with. This girl has always disliked me and has made that known in the past. We have been together for nearly 7 years and as far as I know the last time they saw each other was just before we met. I was devastated when I found that he'd had all of these conversations behind my back and obviously he didn't tell me what they were about etc so I did some digging and messaged her on his Snapchat account which she spilled a lot and it was clear the type of conversations they were having. He promised he'd never do it again etc and I forgave him after he had left for a few weeks (7 months pregnant at the time). Fast forward to now and I have recently been told that last week OH was seen at the pub with another woman. They were quite close (close enough for my friends sister to assume we'd split). Its not the woman from snapchat judging by description.

Now this night he didn't come back until quite late (8am!) I was obviously very pissed off but he said he and his friend got carried away and he slept the night at his friends who apparently lives above said pub. He's denied it (obviously) and has said that my friends causing trouble etc. I don't know what the point of this post is if I'm honest. I'm feeling very hormonal (3 weeks pp) and am feeling very angry as I definitely believe my friend over him and I need to rant. Apparently I'm insecure and paranoid over nothing.

OP posts:
Windmillwhirl · 12/09/2021 10:06

Let him go. It will be easier whsnbuourxdays arsnt burdened with what he's done, is doing, could be doing.

That is no way to live. Tell your family and friends that you need their support and make the break from him would be my advice.

MarshmallowSwede · 12/09/2021 10:06

No married man should even be out drinking until 8am the next day! And he’s lying.. I don’t even know your husband but I know nonsense when I see it. This is nothing but him lying to cover his behaviour.

Windmillwhirl · 12/09/2021 10:06

When your days*

Alfiemoon1 · 12/09/2021 10:13

Even if he wasn’t cheating which I think he was he didn’t come home til 8 am and you have a newborn. Then he’s gaslighting you saying you are paranoid. You need to leave him what is your housing employment situation can you start making a plan to separate

Ourlady · 12/09/2021 10:17

I'm sorry but he is taking you for a fool and you are letting him.
You know he is an unfaithful twat. He could be passing all sorts of sexual diseases on to you.

Bluntness100 · 12/09/2021 10:20

I’m sorry op. You know he spent th night with her and is lying and cheating. It’s up to you what you wish to do next.

femfemlicious · 12/09/2021 10:23

OP why keep having babies with a man who cheats on you. I dont understand

chelsiekxoxo · 12/09/2021 13:35

The first incidence of what I assume was cheating happened last year. Prior to that things were good etc. I found what he had been doing after our daughter was born last yr. This time around I was on contraception so baby wasn't planned.

OP posts:
Hopingforabagofbuttons · 12/09/2021 13:43

You know he’s cheating. He’s done it in the past and he’s doing it now.
Only you can decide where you want to go with this. You know that he will continue to do it too.
You and your DC deserve so much better than this.

girlmom21 · 12/09/2021 13:50

He's cheated on you when you were pregnant and he's stayed out all night with another woman when you're 3 weeks PP. I'm sorry OP but you deserve so much better.

RantyAunty · 12/09/2021 15:19

Yes, he's likely cheating.
Even if he wasn't he has no business staying out all night.
You have 4 DC. Does he actually help you with them?
I read you other post about all the pain you're in due to the cyst. How soon can you get that taken care if and can they do a tubal ligation at the same time?

Sandybeachtowel · 12/09/2021 17:38

He’s definitely guilty
Don’t spend another minute on him
Gain your self respect back, get some boundaries and leave the dickhead.
It will only continue, and he’s cheated on you more than you are aware of.
He has zero respect for you and he doesn’t want you op.
You can do far better, far, far better.
Pull your socks up and get out of there right now.

YukoandHiro · 13/09/2021 15:40

How are you doing OP? X

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