Was this anything like your experience of online dating?

[AWomanontheverge]

You sign up on an online dating site (known for being civilised and filtering out weirdos). You have a few responses and exchange a couple of texts before meeting up.

It takes a few months of trial and error to find your feet. Along the way you have some fun evenings, drink some good wine. Sometimes you get a great discussion, sometimes a few laughs. There are one or two dull dates but usually you find something to like.

You finally click with someone who wants some company but not full on commitment. You enjoy each others company, a few dates a month, cinemas, restaurants, occasional evening in, before amicably going your own way.

Or completely unrealistic?

Oh and expect the banal and endless 'good morning' or even worse 'good morning beautiful' every day from people you have exchanged 4 messages with. And 'how's your day looking', 'what are your plans this afternoon' (Tuesday afternoon - it's always work and then picking up the kids and making tea.)

I had an absolute ball on OLD! So many extraordinary people, intense moments, funny stories. Plus pathos, irritation, horror. Some dullness along the way I guess, but nothing I couldn't handle. Brilliant sex in the main (I'm pretty easily pleased I think!). It showed me I like men, love sex, crave diversity, genuinely loathe the idea of a 24/7 'life partner' tying me down. I learnt such a lot and I miss it, but 2 years was enough - am now settled with a 'FWB plus' who I met on Fab Swingers 😂

I say 'go for it' OP!

Actually your OP isn't very far off my experience FIFTEEN YEARS AGO!!! It's a very different landscape now. Far too much 'swipe left/right' and much more of a meat market. This of course depends what site you're on. As a rough rule of thumb in my experience - the more you're prepared to pay the better the quality of date you'll have.

@MumofPsuedoAdult
That’s a good point
Met my dh on guardian soulmates which was one of the pricier ones. Sadly I don’t think it’s still going.

I've done OLD and met my husband on there after 2 years. During that time I got probably thousands of messages from all different kinds of men. Some were really bad or weird and some just weren't for me but were nice people.
I think I only met up with about 7 people during that time. I'd only meet when I thought we had hit it off, whereas some men wanted to meet that same night they started talking to me. I noticed a few men that just seemed to want penpals, too afraid to meet or have anything real.

I haven’t done any online dating for a decade so I missed apps entirely, but what you describe in your OP isn’t a world away from my experience on eHarmony, honestly. I also used a couple of the free sites and Match for a while, but (back then, at least) that did mean exposure to the time wasters, the sex pests, and the weirdos.
One thing I’d say is that I dated offline plenty too — guys who chatted me up in cafes, bars, tube stations, wherever — and that, not OLD, was where the absolute weirdest dates I ever had came from.

Sorry nothing like that 😂😂

It seemed to me that it was a small minority of men

@WTF475878237NC

Yes I always did coffee only for a first date and always after just a couple of weeks of conversation on the internet then phone.

I do the opposite - straight to a drinks and after a short time messaging so as not to waste time.

I've had no bad experiences op, so it's possible! I'm picky about who I match with and meet. But it's also easier for me as I'm in London, 30 and child free so the pool is bigger!

Dream on sista
Dream hard!!!

I’m older, so my experience is probably different to some on this forum, got ignored a fair bit, had a few different chats, some interesting, some pretty dull, had a few coffee dates, met a few of the ugly sister’s
But have now met a sparky exciting woman and it’s all good
But the platform is really just to get you exposed to as many people as possible from the comfort of your sofa.

My experience-

Message someone on dating site,
Start talking on dating site,
Seems like nice, normal, attractive man,
Exchange numbers,
Start chatting on WhatsApp,
That evening the dick pics start arriving,
Block fucking weirdo and start again.

It didn’t all go that way, but I’d say 80%

Met my dp on PoF and been together 5 years, so not all bad!!

@Buggritbuggrit 47 but i am not in the UK. He is 50 and we are both brits ( not my usual type). Been together 6 months and we are beyond happy.

Another person here for chat for a few days then meet so ypu don't get over invested in someone who turns out to be an idiot

Had some dreadful OLDs back in the day. I remember going to meet one guy and he was so bloody arrogant, just sat there leant back with his legs crossed talking about himself for half an hour. Thankfully it was just a coffee date in Costa. I blocked him on the site as soon as I got home plus blocked him on WhatsApp and blocked him from being able to add me as a friend on FB/messenger. Other dates were more fun but just fizzled out. I even had a FWB for a couple of months! I had a boyfriend for 8 months 😆 Now been married to someone for 7 years who was an old friend and we’re extremely happy.