Newly single - adivce & tips

[lulu8484]

Hi all,

Came out of an 11 year, abusive-at-times relationship a few months back. Finally starting to find my feet and myself again after feeling so low initially. The house will be going on the market very soon and until I am moved and a bit more settled etc I am not looking for a new relationship etc. but any advice how to fill my newly-single spare time? Work is keeping me busy so haven't had much time to dwell but I'm sure inevitably it will happen at some point!

Thank you x

Think of people you massively respect. Get a pen. Write down the specific things about them that you respect. Think of as many people as you can; ones you know, ones you love, ones you are just aware of, ones in the public eye. Make a big list of things you find enormously respectable. This is your 'to do' list. You won't want lots of it for yourself, and nor should you, but it will give you a focus, and a handful of things to start working towards right now.

Think about all the things you would like a partner to do for you. All the treats, special occasions, indulgences that you'd love to be treated to by someone who really cared about you. Things that, if someone bought/made/arranged them for you, you would know that that person truly loved and respected you. This is your list of rewards for taking steps towards things on the to do list that you made earlier.

It won't be long before you're thinking that a partner would have to be absolutely mind-blowing to be worth giving up your single life for.

Oh, and google single celebrities. It'll do wonders for your self esteem. Do it any time you get a negative feeling about being single. If it's good enough for Kristin Scott Thomas...

2 and a half years since I split from my husband, I have dated but nothing serious so far. Just let things go at your own pace, you don't suddenly have to fill all your time, I have made a few more friends than I did in a relationship which is nice, I think this has happened because my confidence has increased over time, I have a part time business I run from home around my other job, I enjoy it, gives me something to do and brings extra income in.
The thing I love most is financial freedom, I don't have to share with anyone and no longer have my ex controlling me over it. I also think about my future a lot and what I'd like to achieve if I can put my mind to it, without a man, I'd like a relationship in future but I still want my own independence and goals.

I can enjoy watching YouTube and a takeaway or whatever meal I fancy with disruptions. Window shop on bumble and chat to guys if I'm wanting attention, I'm open to going on dates with the right person but not in a rush.