need some advice

[rn]

One of the mothers at my son's school had a go at me a couple of weeks ago for something that has nothing to do with me. I tried to clear the misunderstanding twice, but she wouldnt give me a chance to speak and insulted me further. Things are getting so bad and I feel really awkward when I take my son to/from school. My poor son just started school and I feel like I have ruined it for him. I dont know what to do, and it's really getting me down. She is one of those who has gone all out to be popular. Me - friendly but quiet. I have not discusses this with anybody - thought it would make matters worst, last thing I need is a bad case of chinese whispers!! Can someone advice me on what to do next? Thanks for listening.

ignore her completely.

Email her? Write her a letter? Would seem best course of action if she really won't let you explain verbally that you are innocent of whatever she thinks you're you're to blame for. And don't forget to add that you don't appreciate her behaviour and refusal to let you tell her what you needed to say!

She sounds awful!

What was the misunderstanding about? Did you know her from before your DS started? TBH, anyone that unreasonable probably has previous form in upsetting people, so I wouldn't worry too much about what other people think, they probably sympathise. I think you are right not to discuss it though - just avoid her and pretend you are not aware of any bad feeling and carry on being yourself.

And THEN ignore her completely!

Don't apologise or explain any more. Just be you. I agree with RosaLux previous form a definite possibility. Don't go out of your way to be nice or mean uninterested blanking your style at all? In the maturest possible way of course! Playground mafias can be so horrible, undermining, demeaning, confidence destroying. Don't let her isolate you and get talking to anyone at pick up, about anything at all, so you don't stand there getting annoyed and embarrassed. And if the issue ever comes up with anyone else, say yes, old so and so got completely the wrong idea went right off the handle about it making her look like a silly fusspot. Don't let her isolate you, I don't know if that's a possibility but DON'T. There's an old Chinese saying..something about someone might try to humiliate you but it doesn't happen unless you allow it to. Good luck. Some people are so horrible you wonder where they get it from. Unhappiness in their own lives a definite possibility also I feel.

Thank you all so much for your advice. I have sent her a text message last week to explain but havent had a reply. I know her when our boys started school in Sept as she was going round making lots of effort to be friendly and nice.

Today at school, she invited everyone to hers for an early christmas party. I am obviously not invited - which I dont mind but she came up to where I was standing with the other mothers and made me feel so awkward by discussing the plans of the party in details. I felt pushed out and stood alone. I feel embarrassed as more people are beginning to notice that we are not talking. Is she being horrible or am I being sensitive?

I have told myself to ignore her but it is really difficult as the waiting area is so small. I have even tried not going early to avoid her... how sad is that?

This is the playground mafia at work again. They are usually recruits from the toddler group and playgroup mafia. They are spiteful sometimes vile. It's hard but most parents (and teachers) in your sons school will know of her and her types so will not blame you at all but you must be feeling dreadful at the moment.

loads of sympathy this is bullying and ostracism -- and all the worse because if challenged she could just say "what? what's so bad about that?" when you know and she knows all the time she's being a cow. would you ever do this? no. which makes you a better person. remember this and just carry on being nice friendly you. it will pass. it's so hard to achieve that "breezy" thing that you really want to in situations like this but keep bashing on. you have so much sympathy from me.