My DP has a teenage DD who is always polite and civil but also very much Team Mum on everything which is fine, it just means there's a bit of distance. And her DM has no interest in me, which is good, why would she have? They split up years before I came along.
He has this thing about wanting us all to be close. We were having a nice evening in a pub garden in the country and he mentioned more than once that it would be nice if all four of us could be there together and wishing his ex and I could be confidants.
That wouldn't be too annoying by itself, but he tries to sneak us into each others lives. In my teens I was a singer and I used a stage name, one I've never heard since. I found out that his DD's GCSE artwork features my stage name. Her work was based around making album covers for a fictional popstar and he must have suggested that name. She would not have used it if she'd known the context. She'll be a bit weirded out if she ever sees my memorabilia from then.
Another time he came home with a few tops and said he'd seen them in a secondhand boutique and thought they'd suit me. I was touched by the gesture until his DD saw me in one of them and I could tell right away from her expression that I was wearing her clothing. He said she wanted him to take it to a charity shop so it was fine...
He agreed to check in and feed his wife's dog while she and his DD were away. I came along once because he drove there without mentioning it after we went shopping, and he was very keen to have sex on their sofa. I refused and he sulked.
I feel like saying that he needs to respect everyone's boundaries, stop involving us in each others lives by stealth, we're never going to be one happy family - especially with these stunts he keeps pulling.
I would like to hear opinions on this because I'm not sure whether it's as serious as I'm making it in my head.