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Relationships

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Left it too late

30 replies

IceLace100 · 09/09/2021 12:18

Feeling a bit anxious so some supportive comments would be great.

I am 33 now and I feel like I have left it too late to find someone for a proper relationship and to have kids with.

I got out of an abusive controlling relationship in Jan 2020 which was a good thing. I was 31 back then and thought I have plenty of time but then the pandemic hit and has put a stop to my plans of finding someone.

I have been online dating since May and have been on about 5 dates but not met anyone special.

It's all feeling v pressured in my head and a friend of mine even said that I was putting too much pressure on myself to find someone.

Also worried about just settling for someone who isn't really right just for the sake of having kids, which I have seen friends do, and it turns out pretty disastrous.

I have health insurance with work that pays for fertility treatment (I know I am so so so lucky). I've been looking into becoming a single mother with a donor. I feel like if I had a baby alone (just one mind) it would take the pressure off finding someone massively. I am financially in a position to do this (I know huge privilege).

I discussed this with a friend and she said to give it some time, as I have a few years before we're at a "now or never" moment.

I know this sounds dramatic as it's not like I am really getting to old to conceive, but it keeps popping into my mind. Just interested in getting some different viewpoints.

OP posts:
IceLace100 · 09/09/2021 15:31

@TheDaydreamBelievers

Egg thawing is not always foolproof - my understanding (from news articles alone!) is that it has a reasonable failure rate.

I would recommend getting a basic private fertility MOT - this should help you think about how much time you could wait it out to see if you meet someone

Nothing is ever really fool proof is it?

I agree I should go and see what's what.

OP posts:
IsabelHerna · 13/09/2021 10:53

@IceLace100, Aw darling, I feel like I am reading a post from me in the past! Though i didn't leave my abusive (verbally and psychologically) relationship. We didn't have children either. I was single again at 37, it took me a while to get myself back in a whole piece again and then I was suddenly 38, in a pandemic ready to take the next step. So, after a lot of thinking, talking with friends and family, and therapy, I decided that I am ready and strong enough to become a single mum by choice.

You are not here yet. You have plenty of time the important thing is to be okay with yourself, be aware of red flags, and try to relax.

It's not your fault for being here, and it's not all bad, it made you stronger. If you need to talk DM me.

anthurium · 13/09/2021 11:29

Hi op

I hope my experience helps a little.

I was divorced by age 36, took some time out and started dating aged 37 onwards. I hadn't realised how difficult it would be to meet someone I got on with, fancied and who also wanted a family. I'd met my ex husband on a random course in Spain so had nothing to compare it to! I'd dated 'aggressively' for about a year and I can say that it was the most demoralising, anxiety-inducing experience of my life: utter hell. It's not that the men I'd met where nasty, it was just so depressing walking away from crap dates and having to rinse and repeat the cycle over and over again ad infinitum, feeling despondent and desperate that time was running out - and it was.

From the ages of 38/39 I did manage to have a 'relationship' with someone off a dating app albeit a volatile one, but ultimately we were at different life stages so we ended it.

I'd said to myself no more dating, I need to get off this dating treadmill and stop wasting time in the vague hope I might meet someone, it was just too much of a risk. I had done the fertility checks aged 38, had one cycle of IUI which failed, and then was advised due to my age and a medical condition to attempt IVF with a donor sperm (this year). I have been extremely lucky with everything and am now 26 weeks pregnant.

To answer your question, will it take the pressure off dating? In my case, absolutely. I feel so much better that I don't need to care about dating in that way anymore. I was so consumed with missing out on motherhood and that's why dating was making me ill. Yes, I have been financially implicated by having to do the treatments alone, but as some posters know @IsabelHerna it is something you really must consider and sacrifice so that you're in control (or as much of a control as you can be). Now, I really couldn't care less about meeting someone to have a family with, that pining is over. A partner one day for me, possibly!

Definitely I'd second making an app at a fertility clinic to explore your options. They will advise you of the best course of action. Alternatively, you could 'draw' an arbitrary like in your mind let's say "if by 35 I haven't met anyone significant, I'm doing this alone" might help you manage the situation better. Although this is a risky strategy as a lot of people, me included, just kept on moving the 'arbitrary' date by 6 more months.

Mel Johnson from the Stork and I is a really good anecdotal resource - she's a single mother by choice and talks about her experiences. She produces podcasts and blogs about this subject. Also have a look on the HFEA website - the UK fertility regulator for clinic information/ratings and other

The only regret now I have is I wish I'd started younger instead of wasting time after my divorce, but hindsight is a wonderful thing... There are no guarantees that you will meet someone suitable, there are no guarantees that you will get pregnant with ease, but the more time you have and being younger, the better your chances. Regarding treetmaments, IUI has a very low success rate 5-15% success rate on average, and IVF around 30%. It's poor outcomes and the treatments are quite expensive.

Good luck in your decision. I think there need to be more of us speaking up about the alternative options to dating - which just gets spouted about as the answer. Sadly, a lot of women miss out as they'd kept on dating and dating and time was up. They appear on other forums, like the Gateway Women, a useful resource for childless not by choice and it makes for a sobering read. Not everyone is childless due to social infertility (not meeting a suitable partner) some people have medical issues etc./partners with children from previous relationships etc. I believe in taking control/agency and being as informed as possible.

Good luck with your decision. And sorry for the very long post!

IceLace100 · 13/09/2021 14:01

Thank you both so much for your kind replies. It's great to hear your stories, congrats on your pregnancies!

After thinking really hard, I have made an appointment at the fertility clinic in November. I have given myself some time for the info to "settle in", and to focus on my health and mental well-being in the interim. Also get off dating sites, chill and enjoy my life for a couple of months, because I think fertility treatment is likely to be intense.

I've also told my bro and my bestie who were super supportive.

I think dating is really hard at the moment because instead of just relaxing and enjoying it, I am thinking "would you be a good Dad". You're right, it's horrible and anxiety inducing.

I still think I'll meet someone and have a baby, it just won't be in that order!!

OP posts:
love15 · 15/09/2021 22:11
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