Hi op
I hope my experience helps a little.
I was divorced by age 36, took some time out and started dating aged 37 onwards. I hadn't realised how difficult it would be to meet someone I got on with, fancied and who also wanted a family. I'd met my ex husband on a random course in Spain so had nothing to compare it to! I'd dated 'aggressively' for about a year and I can say that it was the most demoralising, anxiety-inducing experience of my life: utter hell. It's not that the men I'd met where nasty, it was just so depressing walking away from crap dates and having to rinse and repeat the cycle over and over again ad infinitum, feeling despondent and desperate that time was running out - and it was.
From the ages of 38/39 I did manage to have a 'relationship' with someone off a dating app albeit a volatile one, but ultimately we were at different life stages so we ended it.
I'd said to myself no more dating, I need to get off this dating treadmill and stop wasting time in the vague hope I might meet someone, it was just too much of a risk. I had done the fertility checks aged 38, had one cycle of IUI which failed, and then was advised due to my age and a medical condition to attempt IVF with a donor sperm (this year). I have been extremely lucky with everything and am now 26 weeks pregnant.
To answer your question, will it take the pressure off dating? In my case, absolutely. I feel so much better that I don't need to care about dating in that way anymore. I was so consumed with missing out on motherhood and that's why dating was making me ill. Yes, I have been financially implicated by having to do the treatments alone, but as some posters know @IsabelHerna it is something you really must consider and sacrifice so that you're in control (or as much of a control as you can be). Now, I really couldn't care less about meeting someone to have a family with, that pining is over. A partner one day for me, possibly!
Definitely I'd second making an app at a fertility clinic to explore your options. They will advise you of the best course of action. Alternatively, you could 'draw' an arbitrary like in your mind let's say "if by 35 I haven't met anyone significant, I'm doing this alone" might help you manage the situation better. Although this is a risky strategy as a lot of people, me included, just kept on moving the 'arbitrary' date by 6 more months.
Mel Johnson from the Stork and I is a really good anecdotal resource - she's a single mother by choice and talks about her experiences. She produces podcasts and blogs about this subject. Also have a look on the HFEA website - the UK fertility regulator for clinic information/ratings and other
The only regret now I have is I wish I'd started younger instead of wasting time after my divorce, but hindsight is a wonderful thing... There are no guarantees that you will meet someone suitable, there are no guarantees that you will get pregnant with ease, but the more time you have and being younger, the better your chances. Regarding treetmaments, IUI has a very low success rate 5-15% success rate on average, and IVF around 30%. It's poor outcomes and the treatments are quite expensive.
Good luck in your decision. I think there need to be more of us speaking up about the alternative options to dating - which just gets spouted about as the answer. Sadly, a lot of women miss out as they'd kept on dating and dating and time was up. They appear on other forums, like the Gateway Women, a useful resource for childless not by choice and it makes for a sobering read. Not everyone is childless due to social infertility (not meeting a suitable partner) some people have medical issues etc./partners with children from previous relationships etc. I believe in taking control/agency and being as informed as possible.
Good luck with your decision. And sorry for the very long post!