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Help me work a response

12 replies

OmgIcantbelieveshedidit · 08/09/2021 18:55

I have a friend let’s call her A. I became friends with A whilst I was getting divorced and I was a single parent. I was struggling to get my eldest to an activity and both A and I went to the same church.
She was going right by my house to the same activity with her youngest. In ‘return’ I looked after her dog alongside mine when she went on holiday etc I never went away really so all fine. I helped her eldest when they were struggling with a subject at gcse by giving them free tutoring in total for about 15-20 hours and by then my eldest had stopped needing a lift as I had an arrangement with another parent I took them and she picked them up (a neighbour). Friend A is married and I’m a single parent and money was tight but she would ask me to find jobs for her eldest children as they wanted to do paid work and we lived very rurally. They used to do some gardening etc for me and she wanted me to employ her husband for diy jobs which I did but paid ‘over the odds’ often she would say ‘husbands is really low and not any work can he fix your gate etc ‘ but he was a bugger to pin down for a price and often say £50 and then tell me £100 etc because something was more expensive. I felt used and was stepping back from the friendship before March 2020. As financially I couldn’t afford it.

3 years ago we brought an item for £50 that we going to rent out for money, she lent it 4 times to friends for no cost, as a gift, then for 3 years it sat in my garage. A year ago I sold my house and moved away and asked her to collect the item and explained I was moving. I moved and the house was sold and stuff went in storage and is now out of storage and with me. From December 2020 to June 2021 I have heard nothing from her. No phone calls nothing .

Recently I have had a flurry of messages saying ‘have you forgotten you still have the joint item of mine?’ I have booked for it to be loaned in October 2022 etc for a while whilst moving we had no internet (about 8 weeks as we moved into rented briefly and then moved again) so I didn’t pick these up (social media messages as private) but they became more and more abusive. Name calling. You haven’t answered my messages etc so I now have 15 social media message and no texts phone calls or emails.

Choices send her the £50 by letter and say ‘ as you know I’ve relocated enclosed is £50 or if you want the item instead please come to collect it - I’m hundreds of miles away , block and delete,
Or something else

Please don’t nitpick the background apart it’s just for reference. I really liked her but don’t feel she is a friend anymore. I felt I was used whilst it suited her, ignored in lockdown etc

OP posts:
Judgedbycats · 08/09/2021 18:59

I'd ignore it. Just block.

Aquamarine1029 · 08/09/2021 19:02

I'd block her entirely.

BrisbaneandGone · 08/09/2021 19:04

I cannot believe you found jobs for her kids and husband when money was tight...or that she even asked in the first place. She can get tae fuck

Notaroadrunner · 08/09/2021 19:08

Block her asap. You gave her a chance to get it, she didn't bother. She can save up between now and October 2022 and buy another one. It's not as if it cost the earth.

Notaroadrunner · 08/09/2021 19:10

And just for future, be careful who you befriend. She used you for her own family's financial gain so don't let that happen again.

SolitaryTree · 08/09/2021 19:13

I would block her. It’s often only in hindsight we sometimes realise friends aren’t really friends. Now you’ve realised, don’t let her use you anymore.

SolitaryTree · 08/09/2021 19:14

What @BrisbaneandGone said!

DressBitch · 08/09/2021 19:19

Why should she get £50 when you've paid half already?

dovesandroses · 08/09/2021 19:19

No response just block

OmgIcantbelieveshedidit · 08/09/2021 19:37

Rightly or wrongly she technically and legally still owns half. If I send her the money I will feel that I've done the right thing. She's not going to drop it clearly. She has my children friended on SM etc that's the only thing stopping me.

OP posts:
Opaljewel · 09/09/2021 14:35

If you keep giving in to demands like this, people will keep using you because they have no morals. But they know you do and will and have used this against you. Get the kids to delete them and then block. Don't be a door mat for anyone any longer. You gave her ample opportunity to pick something up. She didn't. In court, surely that would be seen as not bothered. Put those boundaries firmly in place. It gets easier the more you do it. Trust me I had to do it myself. She has had enough out of you.

AryaStarkWolf · 09/09/2021 14:41

@OmgIcantbelieveshedidit

Rightly or wrongly she technically and legally still owns half. If I send her the money I will feel that I've done the right thing. She's not going to drop it clearly. She has my children friended on SM etc that's the only thing stopping me.
Don't send her the money, tell her if she wants it she can come and collect it from you
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