NC for this.. I don't care if this post is outing, just don't want it linked to any others!
Bit if background first..
So I posted around a year ago, saying I had snooped on my boyfriend's phone, found pants/pants with boner/dick pics on his deleted files, but no evidence of messages they had been sent in. I searched through my own "spank bank" of pics we had sent each other, in the vain hope I had forgotten them...
You guessed it - never sent to me.
I confronted him, he looked caught out but said he had taken them and then rethought sending them as we "weren't i. The right place". He didn't really have anything to say when I said I felt the same but hadn't taken/deleted nude pics...funnily enough I hadn't been in the mood to take any.
Anyhoos, it got to him concentrating on the fact I had broken the trust in searching his phone, and that obviously with things like this the trust had gone so he would move to the spare room.
Stupidly, I said I wanted to work on us, taking him at face value, with no other evidence or proof, and scared to lose what had been a stable and loving relationship, bot even a year into buying a house together.
We I called it quits in February due to many reasons but mostly to his lack of support through a family bereavement.
We have had to cohabit since then, we are in the process of selling and 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 the solicitors pull their finger out of their arse and get a move on.
I decided I had nothing to lose the other day, so we had a chat. I told him I wasn't stupid, that we both knew those photos were taken and sent to someone else, and that I wanted to know why/what had I done wrong/if it was me I didn't want to be in the same position 4 years into my next relationship.
Apparently he threw it all away for shits and giggles. (My phrase, out of several options I gave due to his absolute silence when I asked why, other than to tell me it wasn't my fault.
I don't feel guilty at all now for drunkenly shouting through the floor (3 storey house) that it was all his fault.
Tonight, I asked how he would have felt if it was the other way round. If i had been the one sexting/flirting. He shrugged and said he didn't know.
Cue some silence.
I then said that he did realise it constitutes cheating... to which he derisively "pfft" and said "that's what you count as cheating".
When i suggested that perhaps i should have sent his brother or best mate some pussy photos id it didn't count as cheating, he had nothing to say.
I have no one in RL i can talk to about this; we work together and he is one of the better managers at work (professionally at least). If i make a rucusa at work, I'll be done with a dignity at work..
but my god if he says somethjng stupif, or his family joke about us still getting married (he had a ring but it was "never the right time" to propose)... i will let rip.
Not sure why I've posted... other than perhaps reassurance - if you have a gut instinct, and aren't prone to false accusations/jumping to conclusions... follow it.