Rejected by niece don't know why?

[MartiniOrange]

Wondering if anyone could shed any light.

My niece lived with my MIL as her mother was abusive. She's in her twenties and we've always had a close, good relationship.
The past year she's not been herself, got into the wrong crowd and been doing drugs basically every chance she could, she's been pushing everyone away and just basically lying to everyone. She got back in touch with her abusive mother, and decided to up and leave out of the blue.
I didn't really say much about this as it's not my circus; not my monkey as by this point I had gave up trying as she kept lying to much.
I said goodbye to her before she left and we left on good terms (although she was more bothered about getting my Netflix password before she left!)
Since then she's messaged telling me not to contact her (I hadn't contacted her I was waiting for her to come to me) and that her new boyfriend of a month family was her new family.

I'm at a loss at what I've done to make her feel this way about me.

I’m sorry this has happened to you. I think she sounds very emotionally damaged and she is lashing out. I suspect the new relationship won’t last. Maybe you could just send her a card saying ‘I’m sorry you feel that way, I love you and my door is always open’ or similar? It is v hurtful of her to behave like this but I guess there’s not much you can do

I think you answered your own question here. Its not you, its she; this is all on her and I think she has treated you as someone who actually seems at all bothered about her anyway very poorly.

I also think this new relationship of hers will not last either.

It's likely her mother has fed her a load of bollocks that she's desperate to believe.

Change your Netflix password.

I don't know where she lives, if I did it'd need to be over Facebook but then I face a barrel of abuse back if she chooses too which I don't think I can't cope with.
Ridicolously even though she's treated me so badly. I still care a lot about her.

Seems a bit odd, especially as you hadn't contacted her anyway! Sure that msg was meant for you and not her Mum?
Did your MIL get a similar msg? Have you spoken to your MIL about it?

I'd be inclined to leave her to it but obviously leave your door open should she change her mind.

I wonder if her mum got hold of her phone and sent that message

Definitely change ur Netflix password

Oh I would defo change the Netflix password. Cheeky little cow!

But let your immediate reaction die down a bit. Don't respond to her this week. Give yourself a bit of time. I actually agree with a PP who suggested that maybe her mum sent that message, so lashing back at her right now won't help.

Play it cool. More than likely she will fall out with her mum and the shiny new family will lose their glamour, and then she'll want to come back to safety and security.

I came on here to see if this was my aunty complaining about me... it's not.
I know my aunty feels rejected by me but I just cannot cope with her at all. She is overbearing. I'm mid 40s and she treats me like a rebellious 13 year old.
Everything I do is wrong. She criticizes everything - boyfriends, friends, my hobbies, my work. Maybe she doesn't mean it to come across like this but it does. The last straw for me was when she got her husband to send me a very long email lecturing me about why I hadn't had the COVID vaccine (because I'm in another country and at that point my age group had not been called for vaccination.....)

I'm saying this because maybe, even though you said you did not say much, she might have felt you were criticizing her or disapproving of things. I don't know what your relationship is like of course and I am absolutely sure you are behaving the way you are out of love for her, but is it maybe too much? Too stifling?

Please don't take my post the wrong way, I'm not criticizing you. I'm just putting another perspective on it. My aunty loves and cares for me but it's just too much sometimes and I have to get distance between us from time to time so maybe it's the same with your niece.

No I've never really questioned her choices only with the drugs. I actually supported her through a lot and wasn't critical apart from the odd day when she really had upset me but the next day I treated as a new day.
Prehaps your all right, I will just leave the door open and see what the future brings with her. It still bloody hurts though.

@sloutside now that I can understand, I'd find that to much too!