Is he making me feel small

[Larisaa12]

Just need to rant but so pissed of with husband after he made a stupid comment i dont know if im overreacting

So whilst in bed i was singing and joked babe i can sing do you think i should go x factor lool..
He goes yeah then you can pay the bills.

Firstly i get paid maternity and make payments with that i pay nearly all bills as he doesn't bring home much. I replied saying well i already do that. He replies well i meant with your own money, your hard worked money.

Im sorry but i dont know what to feel, he made a little joke into a money situation and i feel like im just some shit person who has no self worth

I dont know if im also just upset for no reason now but i feel hurt

Was it just a clumsy quip? A one off?

Grrrr, I hate this attitude that sits so insidiously with many men. Often you have no idea until the first baby comes along.

When you have a baby as a couple it is a joint venture. Maternity pay allows for one of the couple to give full time childcare and facilitates the other to continue to earn for the family.

I would nip this in the bud now. When you are feeling calm sit him down and tell him his comments have upset you and belong in the 1950s. As a family you are being facilitated by your work/government to care for your child, a new member of society. The money comes from tax that you have both paid. Perhaps remind him of the full cost of the services you are currently providing, ask if he would like to switch roles? Most wouldn't because it's much harder work and for many women it's a solitary 24/7 role (but that's another rant!).

My partner did a similar thing once, he made a comment about dinner not being ready when he got home. I had been bulk prepping homemade baby foods. He claims it was an off the cuff remarkable as he could see that I had been cooking. He didn't make the same mistake twice.