Husband no longer loves me

[evrey]

Been married 2 years together for 7 . We have 2dc together and both have 1 dc from previous relationships.

When I became pregnant with our dd he decided he wanted nothing to do with either of us, we went our separate ways . When she was born he changed his mind and we got back together. I supported him through self employment that went drastically wrong (due to his poor money sense) we ended up getting evicted from our home, gambling problems, I nursed him through 2 major operations , and cared for him for 2 years with army related ptsd, which has made him very difficult to be around.
His older child has lived with us for 3 years I do everything for this child.
He has made life hell for us all with his aggression (throwing things and shouting not physical) every time things don't go his way.
He gives us all silent treatment if we dare to disagree with him and is a bit mean in that he has thrown away everything myself and the children have ever bought him just to upset us. I know he is no catch .
So why am I devastated? He has left me homeless(I can't afford the rent on mg own) . Penniless and with 2 heartbroken children.
I literally do not know how to do this, he has cut me off from everyone over the years. I can't stop crying .

Are you maybe devastated because the life you thought you would have hadn't materialised? Or that you've given this man so much and it still wasn't enough for him? Or devastated because you love your children so much and so should he? Arseholes like him cause devastation and no matter how hard you try to minimise it.

Starting fresh is really scary but you only have to read threads on here that leaning someone like that is the best thing they've done. He sounds quite abusive so I'm sure an organisation like woman's aid would help you, or at least give you advice. I'm not sure on the military but I feel there would be a support group for wives.

I'd also look up benefits you might be entitled to.

Could you reach out to an old friend or family member that would be understanding?

Yes I think you are spot on on I'm mourning the life I had planned . Second marriage and alot of pressure for it to be successful. And as much as I'm sad for myself I'm sadder for my dc s.

Sending you lots of love

When did he leave? What's the current situation? xx

It's best he's gone.
It sounds like you've suffered enough.
All the caring and supporting got you no-where and this is past the point of no return, don't let him back into your life.

He has moved into somewhere else with his older Dc and paid one month's rent for myself our Dcs , we basically have 3 weeks until we are homeless ourselves. Finding somewhere is not going to be easy due to my part time wage , bad credit history (due to his gambling) , and lack of deposit and 1 months rent upfront.

Thankyou for the replys I do appreciate it .

Op where in the world are you? It sounds as if you have been in relationship with a man who has abused you and left you a shadow of your former self and I am so sorry. Can you be grateful that he no longer loves you? You don't need the kind of love he gives.

Obviously yourself and your DC are priority but I’d also be really worried about him living alone with his older DC now? This poor child will now to subject to aggression and throwing things etc without you to protect them. Once you get yourself sorted I’d be talking to social services if it was me. In the mean time, can you register as homeless with your local authority?

Him leaving is the best thing that's ever happened to you. It's the truth.

Go to the council housing section and tell them you are homeless. You can apply for uc to top up your wages too.

Possibly get some housing benefit too.

There is a way out of this

Have you got a universal credit claim? If you are on a low wage then you should get help with the rent etc?

I am also worried for his older child she has seen a lot in her short life, she begged me to keep her with me but obviously he won't allow that.
I know I'm probably lucky to be getting out of this but I keep getting anxiety attacks even going outside . I'm not used to really interacting with people anymore.

Op I'm so sorry you've gone through so much and thank goodness he left. You might feel broken atm but trust you'll be better off without this abuser.

Like the pp said, go to your local council and tell them you're about to become homeless and with dcs and you'll get help and sort you out for the moment.

In terms of his dd does she live with him?? How old is she? Sounds like she's been abused too? Please report him to social services!!