My gut is always telling me my husband isn't the one...

[DisneyBaby]

Little back story, husband and I got together when he was 18 and I was 21. I was never really interested of attracted to him but he caught me at a vulnerable time and a Xmas party and we ended up getting together and have been together even since, have a daughter and second baby on the way.
Since day one 10+ years ago, I have always had this gut feeling that I could do better and that we're not very well suited but I'm a people pleaser and he's always got on well without family etc so I have never acted on my feelings.
He hasn't always treated me the best, he has had a gambling problem on and off whilst has caused a lot of lying and trust issues, and he doesn't pull his weight much around the house.
I think I'm just getting to the point where I'm questioning how much I really love him now, I never feel like I wantt

Accidentally posted and I don't know how to edit! Whoops!

Little back story, husband and I got together when he was 18 and I was 21. I was never really interested of attracted to him but he caught me at a vulnerable time and a Xmas party and we ended up getting together and have been together even since, have a daughter and second baby on the way.
Since day one 10+ years ago, I have always had this gut feeling that I could do better and that we're not very well suited but I'm a people pleaser and he's always got on well without family etc so I have never acted on my feelings.
He hasn't always treated me the best, he has had a gambling problem on and off whilst has caused a lot of lying and trust issues, and he doesn't pull his weight much around the house.
I think I'm just getting to the point where I'm questioning how much I really love him now, I never feel like I want sex very much and feel like I'm his Mum and not his wife a lot of the time.
I am a really indecisive person though and tend to overthink a lot...
My concern is if I think it a lot, like once even couple of weeks on average I'd say, then should I be following my gut and asking for some time apart or something?
Has anyone else found themselves in this same situation?
I mean I literally had doubts before we even got married in the days and weeks before. When I have tried talking to him about it he brushes it off and doesn't take me seriously.
I don't know if it's me being an overthinker or if I should make some changes.
I am happy but could I be happier?!

You 'settled' with someone you didn't truly love, and it turns out he's not even a particularly good person to have done that with. You are allowed to want happiness you know.

I basically felt like you did, although swap the gambling for binge drinking. My DH was a nice enough bloke, but he'd sort of caught me on the rebound really and I had jiggling doubts for a long long time. We didn't have anything in common really and didn't communicate at all a lot of the time, I think I knew all this before we got married but sunken costs etc and I thought maybe once we were married things would change. They didn't. By the end I didn't really fancy him or want to have sex with him, despite him being reasonably attractive (and I'm not stunning or anything!). I loved his family though and we had such an intertwined life that it rumbled on a bit but I felt very 'this is it, is it?' all the time. In the end I started to tolerate him less and avoid him more and that made him annoyed with me and it sort of spiralled and we split up.

I've never regretted it for a single second. Not one. I shudder to think that I could have spent another 40 years like that. It was pretty amicable and we both wished each other well and are now both remarried to the people we were 'meant' to be with!

One thing - we didn't have kids. I may well have stuck it out if we did, but one piece of advice I always try to remember is 'never cling on to a mistake just because you spent a long time making it'.

Do you think he's a good dad to your child, and will he be to the baby who's on the way?

If he's not a good dad (and I mean an ACTUAL good dad, not just "he occasionally does bath and bed if I nag him" - is he invested in your child's future, does he enjoy spending time with his child, does he know his child's favourite toys, best friend, food preferences, does he do everything possible to give his child a bright future like encouraging reading and exploring and socialising?) then I think it's worth trying to make it work, probably with professional help.

If he's a disinterested father then I think cut your losses and move on.

Niggling not jiggling FFS!!

I think you have grown and are no longer vulnerable and you should start steering your own ship. That includes only staying married to someone and having intimacy with them if you love and fancy them. You don't need a reason, 'I want to separate' is good enough. Your family deep down wouldn't want you to be unhappy even if they don't understand.

You are not an over thinker, you are an under thinker.