All I do is cry

[Sundayblues21]

I ended things with my ea dh a couple of months ago and I'm really struggling.
Although I was the one to end it, I felt backed into a corner as I just couldn't take it anymore.
I still love him, but he has done nothing to show that he is willing to put any work into fixing this, even though I've told him how I'm feeling and how his words and actions have affected me.
He's found a new 'friend' too which really stings.
I am so, so low about it all. I feel hurt, rejected and frankly rubbish.
I've started counselling which is helping me see some of his behaviour for what it is, but it feels like I'm just fighting fires with it as every time I go hes done something else for me to talk about.
I feel like I will never, ever, recover from the hurt and damage that's been done and it doesn't look like he cares at all.

I feel discarded, like I was only there to serve a purpose to him and now I've stopped doing that, he's done with me.
I don't think I'll ever trust anyone again.
Has anyone else felt like this and it get better?
I worry I'm going to end up bitter and lonely whilst he waltzes off into his best life.

@Sundayblues21 it's a viscous cycle but that's what he wants you to think that you can never escape from it but you can ...you will learn to process the hurt and grief of the relationship but you cannot go back and you have nothing to apologise to him for !!! He wants you to think it's your fault, but it's not , it's him . But you will never make him understand that , ever.
So grieve and mourn the relationship....but then move on, knowing you've done right thing x

@Hopeful22, I am so sorry you are going through this as well. I had a previous relationship break up before Ex so know the difference.

It will take a while to recover - that's very usual and there are now lots of resources,especially on YouTube, Dr Ramani is a specialist, but you will find others. It is extremely validating to know you are not alone and hearing others with almost identical stories will resonate.

There is always idealisation at the start, you really feel you have met "the one". Everything seems perfect. After a while you will notice some challenges, but hey all relationships have ups and downs and the honeymoon period has to end. Slowly you realise that your partner's needs dominate, you are always following his agenda and issues are never fixed. There are positive words but they start to feel hollow as not backed up with actions. When you try to assert yourself you may be subjected to punishments, such as silent treatment. It shocks you when it first happens but you might blame stress or circumstances but you certainly don't feel special or soulmate any longer. This is the cycle...it ramps up in speed and nastiness. Nothing changes and you are blamed...so you start thinking maybe it is you, especially as they are lovely to others around.

Some people remain in this cycle as their confidence hits rock bottom. Others stand up and leave but are then subjected to smear campaigns and vindicative behaviour. If the toxic person leaves it is usually because they have lined up another potential love interest..the cycle will continue with them.

I was Exh 2nd relationship and I know he did the same to her as he did to me. Of course at the time I was clueless and believed his story behind their break up.