not sure whether to think about ending it?

[bonmumtobe]

I don't normally post on mumsnet but have been feeling really down the last couple of days and could use some impartial advice... I have been with dp on and off for about 3 years and we have a 4 month old boy. Recently I've felt things have really gone down hill in our relationship and we are gradually drifting apart. He has always been fairly controlling about certain things and this has worked to some extent as I'm quite a submissive character anyway. Now there is a baby in the picture I have been feeling differently about this. Yesterday we were out having coffee and as we went to leave he said he was going to walk around with the baby. I suggested we should get the baby ready to go, put his coat on etc. Then dp stormed out in a rage so I went outside to find him and he totally went off on one threatening to punch me and telling me never to argue with him again in public and not to ever tell him what to do with his son. I have also felt like he doesn't really help me out with the parenting as much as he could. Would be nice if he would offer to look after the baby for and hour sometimes just so I can get a break. At the same time he often criticises my parenting saying I am "weak" and that I can't cope. Sorry this is such a long post I'm just feeling at my wits end today. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Hi.

Us on mumsnet will always do our best to help you - I created a thread myself and it really helped me.

"Threatening to punch me"
"Never to argue with him in public"
"Not to ever tell him what to do with his son"
"Criticises my parenting, saying i am weak & can't cope".

I hope that you are not upset by me highlighting the above words from your post, but i am not sure if you are in a relationship worth carrying on with. These phrases indicate a potentially abusive man, trying to undermine you by calling you weak and undermining you ("can't cope").

The other issue is one of him helping you out.

Can you talk to DP about his behaviour?

If he is resistant to discuss this or cannot see anything wrong regarding threatening to punch you, i would think about alternative places to live and most certainly, ending the relationship.

Forgive me asking, but has he ever punched you? Please do not stay with this man if you do not feel safe with him. Its one thing to have a partner who needs to be prompted to share childcare, but another matter entirely when a partner is controlling.

Really awful behaviour from your dp.Excellent advice from Lovemymum.
Good luck with sorting things out-I hope things will get better for you and your ds.