If you don’t love yourself no amount of love from another can fill that void!

[Fightingback16]

I’m just coming to that realisation.

Why do you want to be with me, why do you say you love me I find myself wanting to ask my boyfriend. Why…because I don’t love myself enough to let him or believe that he just does because there are great things about me.

I’m trying very hard to break this thought pattern and my god is it ingrained deep.

Oh @Fightingback16 I know exactly how you feel. I wish I knew the answer to that too. Where do you even start?! I hope you find some answers on how to break this thought pattern. Take care. Xx

Well done for getting to that realisation - it's fucking hard work and you've undoubtedly fought your way through a lot of shit to get there.

When I was getting through this stage (in my case rooted in childhood abuse) I found it useful to externalize my feelings into an "avatar" (I used a teddy bear) and I soothed that avatar and told her the things I needed to hear. Like "you are worthy", "you deserve to be loved", "you deserve to be respected", "you are strong and a survivor".

I also spent some time every night before I went to bed thinking of 3 things that I had done right that day for myself. "I cooked myself a healthy dinner. I did the washing up. I was feeling sad and reached out for help."

If your issues stem from your childhood then check out the Stately Homes threads here. Lots of support there.