Why is she testing the water again?

[Curiositykilledthecato]

Hello all,

Please help me make sense of this or just give me your opinions on it; here it goes:about 4 yrs ago I developed an intense, overnight 1st time crush on another female coworker that I barely knew. We only spent a few days together but that turned into a quick close friendship. She was openly gay and I was/still am with my long term male dp. It all took me by surprise but despite seeing all the negatives about her personality could not get her out of my head. Our friendship was short lived as I put a stop to it; could no longer take the rollercoaster of emotions I was on. I also believed she liked me back and felt betrayed when she had no choice but tell me she met someone as she had become flakey. Irrational I know, but could not help feeling betrayed. So a year later she gets back in touch but I kept being cold and not really take any initiative towards our friendship. At some point we had a talk and and she denied ever feeling anything for me however could not explain the first thing in the morning to last thing at night daylong previous messaging, picture sending, etc.I did mention at one point that we could no longer be friends and things went downhill from there, especially after me refusing her as a client. In the middle of Covid I decided to block her on one SM platform, even though there had been no communication between us for months and she soon started blocking me on other platforms. Which indicates she was actually watching and became annoyed. I totally understand that, and I know I sound nasty from the outside, but it was my desperate attempt at getting back to normality and not having her in my head 24/7.
We’ve been NC for over a year now and really thought this time was for good. A few weeks back she unblocked me from a platform and I just happened to notice but did nothing in return. I’ve wanted and tried so many times to cut contact as the entire thing was just driving me insane. Somehow she gets back from time to time. I decided not to block back as she is just waiting for a reaction. Can someone shed some light on this or has some words of wisdom/experienced something similar?

Sorry OP but you sound the one obsessed to me... you didn't accidentally discover she unblocked you, you were checking. Seems like you are still thinking about her a lot and wanting to get in touch. Seems like she never made 'a move' but you had feelings for her and got upset when she had a girlfriend?

All of this points to issues you need to deal with personally, nothing to do with her.

I recognise it was an obsession, even had therapy. I tried my best to deal with it.
I wasn’t checking, when blocked on that am platform messages disappeared and now appeared back. That’s how I noticed. I wasn’t actively looking for her profile. But I take in your POV, you are totally right about the first part.

Where is your partner in this? How would you feel if he was obsessing over another woman?

My DP is well aware of what happened. She was in a relationship as well when we met before you flame me any further, which I did not know about till much later.
It’s been a life changing experience, which forced me to analyse my life and ask myself lots of questions. My DP and I did work on issues we had between us as a result.

I would carry on with counselling, I am not judging you at all, i just feel you need it as you haven't recovered. Is it possible you are now questioning your sexuality and maybe aren't ready to accept it yet? Maybe the woman you are referring to, who you admit you barely know, is just a red herring?