Cheating advice

[Harveybelle]

Hello!
So two years ago my hubby was caught out messaging a girl from work. He said it was just messaged and we moved on after discussing things.

This week, an ex colleague commented on a social media meme he commented on saying he slept with the girl he was messaging and another.

I messaged her to ask - and this was apparently over a hear ago - and she said she was sorry not to say sooner. She didn't know I already knew about the girl he messaged so it's obvs picked my brain!

He says nothing more happened than I already know - and wants to get to the bottom of why she's saying all this.

I've got my son starting school this week so don't want to cause any upheaval at home right now.

I just feel it's one word against the other and his workplace is known for people causing drama and gossip... like a playground!

If it was true it would be game over - I'd be fine on my own 💪🏻 it's just a case of not wanting to cause my son upset on the word of a stranger.

Just wanted to vent and get any advice really from a place that isn't friends or family - in case this isn't true and it causes friction..

Thanks!!

Sorry but confused here did the woman I presume, not girl, whom you messaged say he had slept with her or not?

Honestly this sounds like he at the very least isn't putting anywhere near enough a professional distance between him and his colleagues.

I would hit the roof and spell out exactly how I expected him to behave going forward. That's if you want to stay.

No she witnessed him apparently with this other woman... it's a right confuse show!!

Will you ever relax again even if you believe him?

Bit far fetched to think she was making it up... sounds like you don't want to know

Have you spoken to to the other woman herself to get her side of the story?

The amount of drama and shagging that goes on within work places is quite common op that the other partner has no idea about. There's no smoke without fire he messaged her and slept with her there's no reason for this colleague to lie about it. I had a boss who was a sleeze would cheat on his wife left right and centre tried it on with me and another girl, was shagging customers in his office. His wife knew about some indiscretions but not all.

I'm just going to do more digging to get actual proof - or try to! - and take it from there.

So the woman you spoke to told you that she had seen something? What did she see?
Did she see them going off together? catch them in the act? Or did she see them being a bit flirty and jump to conclusions? If she is saying she outright saw it with her own eyes I would struggle to come up with why she would create such a lie.

I think you need some more info as at the minute it doesn't look good

I think I'd be more interested on why this woman has suddenly let you know about him shagging this ow last year.

Sounds like she's angry about something, has she herself been jilted by him.?

I'm confused

Who the hell puts a comment like that on social media if they know the guy they are referring to is married or in a committed relationship?
Sounds like she wanted to out him publicly for some reason, it’s careless and pot stirring at best and actually seems downright cruel and destructive.
I’m with @Onthedunes, it’s an odd thing to do unless you want to get back at somebody and it’s a really nasty way to do it at that.

I'd end this.. purely in the basis that I could not be bothered with this bullshit from a guy... rumour or not..

life really shouldn't be this hard

OP - it’s all quite odd. I agree with people saying that this woman seems intent on creating drama.
No normal person would sit on something for a year and then accuse someone over a meme on social media.
She must be dealing with some of her own issues.
Focus on your child and your marriage.
Maybe try couple counselling - if you haven’t done it already. Whatever residual issues and resentments you may still have - best to deal with them with a professional helping you.

Perhaps its common knowledge to everyone ... except OP.. and its a standing office joke...

So you catch him messaging someone from work. What were the messages?

Now, your H comments on a meme (what was the meme about) and then another woman makes a comment to him about him sleeping with the same woman you caught him messages and that he was currently messaging someone else?

He's obviously been cheating. You'll never get the truth from him.

I’m confused too.

Message the woman and arrange to meet her for a coffee.

As you said, she thought you were non the wiser about the OW.

You don't have to do it this week. I'd want to know though... this will eat you up otherwise.