Feeling regret leaving father of child

[marvmaise]

I have recently left a very toxic relationship with a man that I have a 3 month old son in. He was very narcissistic, emotionally abusive, he couldn't get his priorities right with money spending very little what we had on radio competitions and lottery pointless stuff that we couldn't afford when the most I'd treat myself to a month was a pair of eyelashes or a pair of earrings lol, false hope of telling me he was leaving the army so we could both have a career just for him to turn round one day and say he's staying on for another 5 years to just focus on his career and decided that I'd be a stay at home mum (he's at barracks 5 days a week)
But I can't help but feel my son might grow up and resent me for leaving him or if it was selfish or did I not try hard enough to make things work ect which I know sounds so stupid but I feel so bad for my son because he loves his daddy
And I've encouraged a relationship between them to remain despite what I've been through
Is it normal to feel regret or like you've made a bad choice

Doesn’t sound like you regret leaving him, just worried about your son? Your son is only 3 months, he won’t know any difference I think you’re overthinking it but that’s understandable

@marvmaise

I have recently left a very toxic relationship with a man that I have a 3 month old son in. He was very narcissistic, emotionally abusive, he couldn't get his priorities right with money spending very little what we had on radio competitions and lottery pointless stuff that we couldn't afford when the most I'd treat myself to a month was a pair of eyelashes or a pair of earrings lol, false hope of telling me he was leaving the army so we could both have a career just for him to turn round one day and say he's staying on for another 5 years to just focus on his career and decided that I'd be a stay at home mum (he's at barracks 5 days a week) But I can't help but feel my son might grow up and resent me for leaving him or if it was selfish or did I not try hard enough to make things work ect which I know sounds so stupid but I feel so bad for my son because he loves his daddy And I've encouraged a relationship between them to remain despite what I've been through Is it normal to feel regret or like you've made a bad choice

And the whole sahm mum thing I'm not being ungrateful I get to spend lots of time with my baby- but he didn't even ask me if I was okay with putting off my career for 5 whole years, it was just assumed. Or he told me I could work from home and look after the baby at the same time if I really had a problem, giving me false hope for months on end just to decide the next 5 years of MY life for me with a single phone call

@PumpkinKlNG

Doesn’t sound like you regret leaving him, just worried about your son? Your son is only 3 months, he won’t know any difference I think you’re overthinking it but that’s understandable

I probs should've worded things abit better but yeah I don't know I am really over thinking it and it all sounds so silly but I just can't help but feel like I've broken up our little family but I tried so hard to make it work I forgave the cheating multiple times the verbal abuse ect maybe when he's older he'll understand that I really did try

Can I just say that this sounds very much like my ex..only a younger version. He is in the army, he was already in when we met....only saw him at weekends which was fine at first...FF 4 years and we had a son together it became hard....his barracks was a couple hours from home so would only come at weekends and even then he had hobby commitments which would mean we saw him less. We talked about him leaving the army or getting posted somewhere closer which he promised he would do but never did. Also rubbish with money and had a few debts.
Anyway I left him last year and since then have discovered numerous things like other kids he had and lies he told.
Our son is 4 and I think the fact that his dad was only home weekends anyway the split hasent had an effect on him. With what I can sense.
It's better that your baby is young. You don't want him growing up in an abusive relationship between his parents. You have done the right thing.

You did not break the family by leaving. You left an already broken family.

You dc is 3 months old. He doesn't 'love' his father. He is reacting to the novelty of a person who appears once a week and gives him some attention.

You’re not selling him to me.
Sounds like you and your baby would be better off without him. You don’t want your son thinking that that’s how to behave.