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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Pondering what preparation you can make for possible divorce

2 replies

canary1 · 05/09/2021 16:02

I’m particularly wondering about advice on evidencing nasty behavior which is not physically abusive. Lots of verbal abuse. Does this mean anything in terms of child custody if that were being considered in the future? How would I evidence it, if I wanted to keep records ( if that’s a worthwhile thing to do)? If it’s not worthwhile, in terms of custody, then I wouldn’t bother. The verbal abuse is to me, not to the children. However they are exposed to it. It’s not constant but arises regularly, maybe every couple of weeks. Then gets v nasty v quickly. Then it settles down for another couple weeks only to reappear again. Refuses couples counseling of any sort. Thank you for any advice.

OP posts:
Jonjojobs123 · 05/09/2021 21:28

Sorry to hear you are experiencing this. What brings on the verbal abuse? Is it in response to a certain situation? Are you the main care giver?

legoriakelne · 05/09/2021 21:33

Speak to Women's Aid. Make that a priority.

Sounds like usual cycle of abuse - incident used to regain control, things then calmer for a little while until something happens that makes him feel his control is threatened so he punishes to bring you back in line again.

Joint therapy is not safe where there is abuse so it is good that hasn't happened.

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