Forgive & forget?

[wonderlustt]

Has anyone been cheated on in a relationship, stayed with said cheat, & the relationship worked?/ were happy?

God yes, exactly - it was such a weight lifted @Worakls. I didn't realise how unhappy and anxious I had been for years until it was over.

I agree with what you've both said, if the question is can you 'forgive and forget' then the answer is no. If the question is can you carry on and have a relatively happy relationship post an affair then it's definitely possible but it will never be forgotten and never be forgiven and its how both parties can deal with that that will determine if it ladts. I think many betrayers think once the outward pain, ranting, upset, anger etc subsides then it's forgotten and forgiven and they are blissfully unaware of the constant uncertainty ingrained in the core of the betrayed.

Bumping up as interested in reading any positive outcomes.

He did it time and time again- it was for an ego boost

This is key. Remorse isn't sufficient as a cheater usually cheats because they need ego boosts (in addition to the stability/comforts of marriage). Like other addictions, will power alone won't be enough. It requires a fundamental change in the person who cheats and ime not that many are prepared to do the work.

I tried it. Once trust is shattered it gone forever. Left and with a decent guy now

As somebody who cheated once and lost everything I can say that once a cheater always a cheater is simply not always the case.

But I agree that the cheater needs to take absolute responsibility for it and has to work so hard to try and rebuild what was destroyed. My husband decided that it was too much for him to get over and we separated. I would have done whatever it took to try ans rebuild us but appreciate that once you've been hurt in that way it can be impossible to get over.

It's something I will always regret and I would urge anyone thinking of having an affair to stop. Put that effort into your relationship or leave.

I tried after her 'indiscretions' as she liked to call it. Miserable unhappy years with my head stuck in work and the sand. Once that line is crossed its never the same, tainted, soiled and ruined. Cut your losses and walk away, wish I did.