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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Totally fed up of 'friend'

14 replies

TheBeautifulPeople · 03/12/2007 12:56

We've been friends for around 3 years, our kids go to the same school but I'm getting to the point where I go out of my way to avoid her. She takes the piss out of things I do (like when I expressed an interest in joining karate) but then she carries on with sly digs about it. For instance if she see's the karate instructor in the school playground (he's a dad) she will say something like "oh god, that karate bloke is coming across" but half the time he hears her and it must seem like we're both taking the piss. This morning my son told her that he'd passed his grading and an adult had got a lower mark than him and she started laughing and said "an adult was doing it too?" which I'm sure was a dig at me.

Apart from that though she's constantly hot and cold with me. She'll only talk to me if there is nobody else in the playground who she can talk to. Same with holidays etc, she'll only get in touch with me if nobody else is taking her out (she doesn't drive).

When we are together she never wants to talk about anything I have to say, its always about her husbands family, she moans constantly (and I mean constantly...from the minute we get out of school until we reach her street) about her mil and sil yet the next day she will be all over them...ready to tell me another tale of what they've done to annoy her.

She never seems to care about anyone but herself either. When my DS was being bullied by a kid in their class she turned around and said she thought the other kid was quite sweet (that day he'd been nice to her DS).

When I had a car she would always wait for me without fail so I'd give her a lift home/to shop/to school but then I got rid of it and she started taking lifts of her sil (who she cant stand) and on friday we're due to attend a carol concert with the kids and I'm stressing about how I'm going to get there...anyway she just said really smug this morning "I'm getting a lift so I'm alright!" after all the times I've helped her out.

Thing is I'm finding it hard to avoid her (with the school issue) but do you think I'm being OTT anyway? I'm not the most sociable person at the best of times.

OP posts:
ProjectIcarus · 03/12/2007 13:01

Friend? Seriously? Dump her.

NineUnlovelyTinselDecorations · 03/12/2007 13:08

Good gracious, she sounds appalling. Have as little to do with her as possible.

TheBeautifulPeople · 03/12/2007 13:13

See other times she's alright though. She's bought my son a really nice present for christmas and she's always the one that rings me (I never ring anyone) but its just that we're totally different. She's very "in her own bubble", never watches the news (didn't know about maddie until someone mentioned it at school) and she doesn't even know (or care) where her husband works or what he does. I'm totally different, I need to keep occupied and take on new things (like the karate) but I don't like people taking the piss.

She gets annoyed about REALLY stupid stuff too, like a few weeks ago she was skint but spent about £70 on groceries in tesco. Then her MIL told her that her daughter had got the same kind of stuff for £40 in netto the day before and friend was absolutely fuming at mil for telling her, she was really kicking off about it.

Another example...a girl at school got moved up a level on her reading book, friend was fuming about that as her dd hadn't so when nobody was looking friend "stole" the little girls school bag and went raking through it to find her reading diary just to prove that she hadn't read as many books as her DD!

OP posts:
StarofBethleCam · 03/12/2007 13:18

Sorry beautifulpeople I'm finding it hard to distinguish between the adults and the schoolchildren in these scenarios

mumblechum · 03/12/2007 13:19

No, she really doesn't sound nice.

Find another friend.

mummyofaprincess · 03/12/2007 13:20

omg what a horrible "friend" but i think you should only talk to her when you have to now as shes made it clear that she doesnt really care about you from the way she said well ive got a lift so i`m alright.
I hope this gets better for you, and please try not to let this get to you, i know its hard, sending you lots of hugs x

Heated · 03/12/2007 13:24

She doesn't sound like 'your' sort of person. Better an aquaintance than a friend perhaps? You reminded me of a quotation:

Tell me what company you keep and I'll tell you what you are.
Miguel de Cervantes

Baffy · 03/12/2007 13:29

the odd thoughtful gift or phonecall does not make this woman worthy of being a friend

to steal another child's reading diary to 'prove' she hadn't read as many books as her dd!

I really think you should focus all of your effort on trying to find new friends and give this one a wide berth! Honestly, people like that are a waste of time.

FairyMum · 03/12/2007 13:35

at your last example of "stealing" girl's schoolbag. RUN VERY FAST IN OPPOSITE DIRECTION......

cornsilk · 03/12/2007 13:37

She sounds like a bit of a nutter to be honest. Stealing a child's bag to look through their reading record? Freaky.

deenymcqueenygoreandguts · 03/12/2007 13:42

practically speaking with your kids in the same school can you avoid her?
Can you phase her out slowly, not answer the phone to her, or tell her you cant stop when you meet in the playground.

Can i just point out tho that if she is so free with her dislike and annoyance at her in laws and own family....WHAT IS SHE SAYING ABOUT YOU AND YOUR KIDS TO OTHER PEOPLE"

wooga · 03/12/2007 14:16

Doesn't sound like a 'friend' to me - a user.
You are better off without her- seems very immature.

warthog · 03/12/2007 14:18

dump her. fast.

Pages · 03/12/2007 17:46

Have you spoken about her on here before? Seem to remember a very similar thread some time ago, her laughing at the karate etc,

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