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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I doing the right thing?

5 replies

Appleofmyeye05 · 04/09/2021 09:23

Hi everyone I have posted here before about my ex and his inconsistency with contact with our son and I just need an outsiders POV to make sure It’s not me and that I’m doing the right thing for my son.

Ex has always been inconsistent, I usually do the travelling for contact, drop off, pick ups. Ex has contact eow drop off 5 on Friday and then ex wants pick up at 12 on a Sunday. Usually says the reason is ‘he’s stuff to do’ but when I get there he’s settling on the sofa for a day of football.

Ex is also meant to have contact during the week for tea which he’s stuck to a handful of times usually cancelling at the last minute, then it was overnight with me picking up at 7.30an which he’s never stuck to.

This week ex said he would be home at 5 and asked me to bring nappies and wipes (usual occurrence) and also food as he has nothingn in (!) and like a mug I said yeah. So I walked over which is about 15 min walk, he said the door was open, it was not. I rang, he told me to Fuck off. So after a heated exchange, off back home I went and said you pick him up when you finish work. He didn’t come.

He didn’t come yesterday when he was suppose to and now he’s said he isn’t coming today for him.
I said could he come before 10 as little one usually is settling for nap at that time and if it’s left any later he will most likely be asleep, ex said no it’ll be 10.30-11. I’ve said no as someone is coming to his house so ex has said he’s not coming. Another heated exchange.

I’ve told him if he wants contact he can take me to court for it now. Am I being unreasonable? From my POV, I do all the travelling for contact, usually I’ll provided wipes at the very least but something is usually asked for. I only ask for consistency from him and that maintenance is paid on time as I rely on this money for food, it’s never paid on time and if he can use it as a weapon he will which he is doing now.

Am I doing the right thing by saying court for a contact order? He says I’m wrong and a clown and that I’m keeping him from our child but I think he’s keeping himself from our child as it’s him who’s not turning up for him.

OP posts:
Appleofmyeye05 · 04/09/2021 09:25

Sorry ex has said 10.30/11 as coming now coming to his house **

OP posts:
Brollypackedforscottishholiday · 04/09/2021 09:25

Your dc isn't a pizza. Stop trying to deliver it to his door..
Pandering to a twat won't turn him into a df..
Block him. Your dc doesn't need that sort of man around..

Appleofmyeye05 · 04/09/2021 09:29

He is blocked now.

He seems to act like he’s doing me a favour by having our child, he is suppose to want to spend time with our child. It makes no difference to me to have our child another day every fortnight.
I just feel so sad for dc as I know they love their dad

OP posts:
Appleofmyeye05 · 04/09/2021 09:51

Bump

OP posts:
Runforthehillocks · 04/09/2021 10:41

I agree that he is keeping himself from.your child, but by telling him to go to court for contact, you are giving him an easy way out - he'll just say you're the one stopping him. Not that that matters to you, but he may tell your child this when he's older to excuse his behaviour.

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