I nearly broke down at the library I took dd to one of the clubs there and we did xmas songs/activities and then they got xmas cards, I had to hold back the tears. I keep thinking yes i'm strong and I'm going to be ok and then its hit me again today that the shit has left us both. When he was here yesterday he had the gall to cry coz he was missing out on the putting up of xmas decs with us and how all of this was hurting him er did he expect my sympathy he was the one who chose to leave!!!, I asked him weeks ago to take all his stuff and its all still here, my dd is going to have to move her home. Then he asked about the presents I had bought for his family and what I was doing with them so I told him I would still give them but they would be from dd, he had the cheek to say to put them from all of us!!! er why we are not a family anymore!! my tears are now drying