I think I’m like women….what do I do?!

[Mirrorpalm]

I’m recently divorced after a very long relationship (19 years), nearly 45 and I’ve realised I just have no interest in men at all. I’ve been reading stuff about comphet and realised that I’ve never really liked men sexually. My previous partner was my best friend but sex was a chore.

I want to explore this but where do I start?! I had a quick look on the main dating apps and it wasn’t that fruitful. Will lesbians look down on me as I’m middle aged and never been with a woman? And how do I meet similar women to me?

Any tips appreciated

Could you possibly just be asexual? I guess the main thing you need to ask yourself is does the thought of sex with a woman and the female body turn you on? If the answer is not really then it may be that you're just not interested in sex with anybody, and that's perfectly ok.

@putthetubeinthebin thanks, that’s a very good idea to be upfront about where I am at

@BarefootHippieChick I have wrestled with this and I think I am definitely more attracted to women than men. I literally cannot contemplate having sex with a man anymore it feels weird. I think I spent so long trying to be attracted to my ex that I’m all confused.

Do you live somewhere that has gay bars/venues OP. Not to go searching for a date, just to help things feel a bit more comfortable, go for drinks with a friend. That has been suggested to me.

I live in London but I don’t really want to just pick up someone for sex….that would terrify me. I don’t think lesbian bars really exist anymore anyway do they?

I was thinking that going out in a normal way might take it down a level, away from sex/pick up/dates etc. Just some normal drinks. Maybe I've got that wrong.
(Maybe not exclusively lesbian bars but I think there are gay (or LGBT etc) bars preferred by women.?

SHE bar in Soho. It is full of young women and made me feel too old though..
Look at some Meetups - plenty of LGBT meetups where you can meet someone.

Thanks both. I’ve been to many many gay bars in my time but mostly they’re men in the ones I’ve been to. I think a bar full of hot young women would be incredibly intimidating! Also I feel too old to do any ‘scene’ really. Meet-ups a good idea. @AWonderfulNewName have you been in the same position?

What about joining something like an activist group? Some have LGBTQ groups.

Hi OP, since you're in London, maybe worth checking out events at Gay's the Word? Or going along to the weekly lesbian discussion group?

www.lesbiandiscussiongroup.com/

Just because you dont like men doesnt necessarily mean you do like women though. Are you sure you even fancy women ?

Thanks @JoanOgden that looks great!

@Mirrorpalm yes, I have.
Check out Sex board thread about Finding a like-minded woman. You can ask to join a Wire group which is for women exactly in your position.
Good luck :)

If you want to meet other bi-curious or gay women, I'd recommend joining killing kittens. Very open chat groups about female sexuality where you can speak to others in the same position. There is a Kitten Play group where you'd be made to feel very welcome. There's also lots of socials and an amazing Clitoratti (women only) party in London if you want to experiment in a safe environment.