OK, this is a bit of a mad situation for me and I'm really struggling with it. I'll try and get straight to the point. I'm a single mum of 2 boys, and in April I met who I thought was the man of my dreams basically. He told me straight away that after he had split with his ex she found out she was pregnant and was due in October. He was always clear that he wanted to be a hands on dad with the baby, and I was ok with that. I've had a hysterectomy and can't have children now, and he doesn't see his other children (different mums) after lots of problems. He was a victim of domestic abuse and coercive control and there are still court proceedings going on with access, which is another story. Well, his ex had lots of complications and I would always encourage him to be with her if she needed him. The baby was born prematurely 6 weeks ago and is still in icu. He was present at the birth and He goes every day to see his boy whose doing well and over 3 lbs now. This is my problem. He refuses to tell his ex that he has a girlfriend, aka ME. We've been together over 4 months now and when she found out we were dating she went bananas. His fear was that she will stopping seeing his baby. She initially wanted him back, which he refused as they had a very turbulent relationship and she didn't treat him very well. She apologised and tried to get him to go back because she struggles with her other child who is 5 and he had been like her step dad for 18 months. She accuses him of not being focused on the baby and so he says that's why he won't tell her about us. She tries to get him to look after her other child to hopefully get him back which im not ok with,especially as I have two children that would ultimately be his step children if the relationship continued. When the baby comes home he will have to spend his days at her house with the baby initially, which is going to be difficult. I've asked him to tell her that we are just dating even, but he point blank refuses as he doesn't want to hurt her even more with her struggling with the experience she's gone and going through. So when he's with her she has no idea he's been with me for the last four months and she's controlling him by saying he can only have the baby overnight if he gets his own place, he can't have him at his mums etc....hes paying her 200 pounds a month and is basically at her beckon call. Its driving me insane now tbh. I'm supporting him as much as possible, but I feel so insignificant in this situation. I guess I am really, but If we carry on together I'll be having a relationship with his child in the long run and I don't think she is ever going to be happy about that. I wish I could just walk away tbh, but hes a lovely hearted person and he doesn't want anybody to be hurt, but he wants more than anything to be a father and will do whatever he can to make sure nothing jeopardises that. Any advice? Its unlikely, but has anybody else been in this predicament?