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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I leave? Please help

6 replies

Pawprints2017 · 03/09/2021 02:10

I think I'm finally done but we have a baby (that he wanted) and I can't think of a way to work and pay for nursery until he is a bit older. I feel so trapped. I have worked all my life to make sure I was never in this position but here we are.
He is one of the nastiest people I have ever met and I'm wasting my life on him.
Today I mentioned not wanting sex because I feel disgusting after having a baby and he said it's such a shame that he (baby) is growing up thinking he is loved when I'm just pretending. I don't know why it struck a nerve but I've been to hell and back with this baby on my own through lockdown and he appreciates nothing I have done.
He pestered me for sex two weeks after having the baby and I've never healed properly.

He goes on about canceling his direct debits and taking the baby from me.
He is also from over seas and threatens to take him there. I would stand no chance of ever finding him.
My decision is made. I just don't know how to get out. Do I hang on until I can financially manage myself?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 03/09/2021 02:21

Is there anywhere you could go, anyone you could stay with? You need to call Women's Aid for support, and I would hide your child's birth certificate on the off chance your partner tries to get a passport for him.

TaraR2020 · 03/09/2021 03:09

Op, I'm really sorry you're in such a situation. Do you have friends or family members who can help you out with consulting a solicitor?

I could be wrong, but I think I read on here you might be able to register a block on your child's passport so that he can't be taken out thr country? Worth looking into.

Pawprints2017 · 03/09/2021 08:13

Thank yous so much. This is exactly what I'm going to do!

OP posts:
bigbaggyeyes · 03/09/2021 08:15

Speak to a solicitor re taking the baby out of the country.

Also speak to women's aid re the relationship and having help getting out.

If you're in the uk have a look at 'entitled to' website which will give you an idea of what you can claim benefit wise if you chose to leave.

MadeForThis · 03/09/2021 08:51

Would he be able to get the baby a passport from his home country? I would take his threat seriously.

Pawprints2017 · 03/09/2021 09:13

Thank you, I'll have a look at that website. No but I think he would be able to get a UK passport for him. I am going to try my best to fix that side of things today when he goes to work.

OP posts:
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