'Someone Like You' situation

[Lea45]

Soooo, has someone ever survived a 'Someone Like You' situation? Meaning, attending the wedding of the love of your life, who is marrying someone else? How did you keep a happy face, or is it best to make up an excuse and gracefully decline?

I would decline gracefully why would you go and put yourself through that.

I guess it depends what your ongoing relationship with this person is. Have you reconciled to being friends (and that's why you've been invited)? Or is it possibly time for you to move on (by declining) and close that door?

Oh yeh, tell them you have covid

I'd rather suck shit through a straw. Don't go.

Sounds like torture. I absolutely wouldn't subject myself to that.

I gracefully declined. No regrets, although it sucked at the time, it was my birthday (ending in a 0) and all our/my oldest friends were there.

He went to mine first and a few years afterwards told me it was the worst day of his life, so he understood.

I declined.
There is no way I could have gone and plastered on a happy face!
I sent a card and gift but felt unbelievably sad.

OP here. Thank you everyone. I just need to gracefully exit and cut him out of my life.

I went, and focused on the fact that love doesn't have to mean possession. I'm glad I went, but I valued his role in my life. So I suppose it depends on context. I did fear that I might just completely lose it during the ceremony, but instead I just developed a weird twitch for the day!

I did.
Long, long story, so will summarise-ish...
We were on/off for seven years. Never official, he was a "local celebrity" as in everyone knew him, everyone loved him, all the girls wanted to be with him, and he put it about a lot. We both had actual relationships with others during the time, but always gravitated towards each other too. We knew each other's secrets and innermost thoughts, and were sort of almost co-dependent on a weird way. This was years ago now, we were young (though he was 9 years older than me) and we partied a lot.
We used to have those long intense all nighter drunk walking talking times, and once even almost went to get a special license and get married on a whim!
Amyway, he met someone, she had the same name as me! and they had a child. That really hurt me, he was ALWAYS so so careful re contraception and safe sex, so I knew it wasn't accidental. A year later, they got married.
He booked the disco I worked for to do the evening party, he spent four hours drinking and crying and snogging me three days before the wedding, and I had to go to the evening party and pretend we were just mates.
I pinned on a smile, gave the performance of my life, then left and walked to my local pub (the one where we met!) and got drunker than I have ever been in my life. I fell over in the rain on the way and skinned both palms and both knees, and I was a mess. IT HURT. It still fucking hurts now, over 20 years later. They had another 2 children, but divorced a few years later.
I know deep inside that if we had ever got "properly" together, or married, we would have torn each other apart - as it is, it was just me.
A few years later I met DH and we've been together 21 years now.
I always think he was the love OF my life, but DH is the love FOR my life.
It's hard though, even after all this time, I still have the odd "what if" moment.

Don't go.

Just don't.

I wouldn’t go.

Are you still seeing him? If so, do not go.

Can you be genuinely happy for him? See long lost friends, engage in witty banter with his mates, and look fabulous? If yes then go and enjoy the day. If not, then gracefully decline. Tell them you’re having problems with your downstairs area. Nobody ever enquires too closely after that.